Yellow is back!!

Researchers at the Uganda Virus Research Institute are pissed! They have given the government 2 weeks to answer their demands or they go on strike!!

Nah……. That’s the news that everyone in Uganda would expect, seeing as it’s a new trend to strike – effects of boredom after the Premiership went on a break.

Anywho, the Virus researchers are angry with Wakiso district land board for issuing land titles to chaps for space around the Ziika forest in Kisubi. There’s a forest in Entebbe??

In this forest dwells the dreaded “Aedes Africanus” mosquito, whose name sounds like a soul singing sister, and is solely responsible for the spread of yellow fever.

NRM mobilisers were extremely happy with this news and run to their masters to report that there is actually a faster way to turn the population yellow, and it’s a simple mosquito! Their hopes were quickly dashed when the researchers swiftly added, “between 10% and 20% of people that get it will die, most likely before the next election”, and they quickly climbed down the sand castles they had built with their selfish egos hoping for a windfall of dimes from the national reserves.

The researchers say that this mosquito is used to pinting blood from forest monkeys, and sometimes from taxi conductors and boda boda riders, “it kinda comes across the same to me, I s’pose”, one “Aendes mosquitos” was over heard telling a researcher.

With this data, the institute was quick to send a warning to the rest of the human beings to stop encroaching on this forest lest they fall dangerously ill, and miss all the political comedy action on NTV news!

Vaccination slips for Yellow Fever are compulsory when going to many countries, especially South Africa. They used to go for 17,000 shillings but have now since been revised to 70,000 bucks on the black market, with the go-betweens blaming this rise on the sharp increase on prices of sugar! Now that the yellow fever is for real (thanks to those silly encroachers, and smelly taxi guys), getting this card is going to even increase in cost, due to the factors of demand and supply.

In the meantime, government has promised to do nothing, blaming all this fracas on the opposition who scared away tourists with their walk to work antics leading to forest encroachment and hence giving the forest mosquitoes free and fresh blood to feast on.