Why Olara Otunnu failed to vote:
10 - He got a wife on valentine’s day, it was more important to stay with her.
9 – His lucky red shirt he used on valentine’s day was still dirty, he couldn’t come out.
8 – Like many karimojong, he didn’t know it was voting day.
7 – He thought it was NRM day.
6 – He listened to ALL the candidates, and couldn’t think of who to vote for.
5 – He failed to find Obote’s name on the ballot paper.
4 – His name was on the Luweero register, he has instituted a truth commission.
3 – He thought it was 1980 and Paolo Muwanga would automatically announce UPC as winners.
2 – He woke up and realized Kigundu was still head of the EC!
And the number 1 reason;
1 – He came to his senses and said “Fuck it!!! Who am I kidding!!!”
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Election Crap!!
Election crap is back again, a time to test our fears and face our rioters! Some of us are not on that shit, it'll be business as usual until that tear gas canister interupts our good living.
In the meantime, I stumbled upon the "Ghetto Bible", a project some punks are trying to do so as "to get the kids to read the bible", whether it'll work is the wildest guess, but as a sample, they released the 10 commandments, just to see the public's reaction, and here they are;
1. I beez God. Don' beez dissin me wit otha godz.
2. Don' beez makin no hood ornaments like nothin in my crib, anythang upstayrs, orr anythang anywherz elz.
3. Don' beez usin my name 'n a wack way - homey don' play dat.
4. Y'all betta be keepin da sabbathh.
5. Don' dis ya mama ... an if ya know whoz ya daddy beez, don' dis him neither.
6. Don' cap ya bros.
7. Don' cheat on ya babies' mama.
8. Don' be liftin no goods.
9. Don' be lyin an' snitchin on ya homies.
10. Don' be eyein' ya homie's crib, ride, or nothin.
I hope to read the rest of it someday, if there are no riots.
Go thee forth and vote wisely, and cause chaos not!
In the meantime, I stumbled upon the "Ghetto Bible", a project some punks are trying to do so as "to get the kids to read the bible", whether it'll work is the wildest guess, but as a sample, they released the 10 commandments, just to see the public's reaction, and here they are;
1. I beez God. Don' beez dissin me wit otha godz.
2. Don' beez makin no hood ornaments like nothin in my crib, anythang upstayrs, orr anythang anywherz elz.
3. Don' beez usin my name 'n a wack way - homey don' play dat.
4. Y'all betta be keepin da sabbathh.
5. Don' dis ya mama ... an if ya know whoz ya daddy beez, don' dis him neither.
6. Don' cap ya bros.
7. Don' cheat on ya babies' mama.
8. Don' be liftin no goods.
9. Don' be lyin an' snitchin on ya homies.
10. Don' be eyein' ya homie's crib, ride, or nothin.
I hope to read the rest of it someday, if there are no riots.
Go thee forth and vote wisely, and cause chaos not!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Random stuffs....
It’s the season for bills, and implementing them. First was the king’s bill, which was implemented urgently like a vaccine for yellow fever, yellow being NRM! Then the bastards at KCC, tired of the little dimes sent for them to eat in the guise of fixing roads, have unlash a ki new bill that’s going to mesmerize the ordinary citizen.
The trade / licensing instrument of 2009 is now in effect, and a booklet of like 20 pages is out, naming the amounts to be paid by various businesses, and trust these chaps, they have missed NO ONE.
In order not to confuse chaps, they have Supermarket (large) and Supermarket (other), it’s up to you to figure. These bastards have also added on “circus show”, 60 thou a year, just in case “Akef circus” returns after Mubarak has been eventually toppled. (or maybe they want to fine those clowns at Amarula family for holding circuses disguised as comedy shows, and Pablo too)
As for these biznesses, brace yourselves, u are being watched;
“bread seller, tailor, wheelbarrow pusher (20k), saucepan repairer (30k), pocorn making machine (40k), stamp makers, website designing (wonder how they’ll find these ones in their homes and cars), pool table (60k), herbal/local medicine (100k), mineral dealers (including those that have been “recovered from muzungus” in an accident), bridal salon (180k), are these that many……….a list of 156 can’t be exhausted here.
Speaking of “Akef Circus”, y’all rememba those clowns (they really are) in the early 90’s that came over from Cairo (and disrupted our show of “hands off my car” on UTV) and ended up crashing their makeshift roller coaster before fleeing down south? Well they remind one of Hosni Mubarak, that chap that is almost being toppled.
Hosni, the 82 year old living mummy says he is so fed up of the presidency, but if he dares leave, there shall be widespread chaos in Egypt! But now, what can we call what is happening there right now? I never want to reach 82! Never to see clearly!
Hosni has been calling on African leaders to find a solution on “how to really cling to power”, and these were some of the responses;
Mugabe: “Fella, I was once your age and had the exact same situation, just look for the lead bugger and make him Executive VP”
Kibaki: “Same here bro, it’s hard being old”
Mandela: “Just quit!”
Kaunda: “Listen to Nelson, there’s life out there for we living mummies”
Kagu: “It depends…..are u a revolutionary?? No!!! Fella, am with Nelson on this one, Quit!”
Mswati: “Man, just hand over to Hosni W. Mubarak Gamal, we still do that here!”
Omar El Bashir: “Declare yourself “the last pharaoh bitch”
Zuma: “u raped who??? Oh, that, sorry bro, never really been in that situation!”
But if u also gave me 20 million every other election, just for just, I just may join politrix!!
The trade / licensing instrument of 2009 is now in effect, and a booklet of like 20 pages is out, naming the amounts to be paid by various businesses, and trust these chaps, they have missed NO ONE.
In order not to confuse chaps, they have Supermarket (large) and Supermarket (other), it’s up to you to figure. These bastards have also added on “circus show”, 60 thou a year, just in case “Akef circus” returns after Mubarak has been eventually toppled. (or maybe they want to fine those clowns at Amarula family for holding circuses disguised as comedy shows, and Pablo too)
As for these biznesses, brace yourselves, u are being watched;
“bread seller, tailor, wheelbarrow pusher (20k), saucepan repairer (30k), pocorn making machine (40k), stamp makers, website designing (wonder how they’ll find these ones in their homes and cars), pool table (60k), herbal/local medicine (100k), mineral dealers (including those that have been “recovered from muzungus” in an accident), bridal salon (180k), are these that many……….a list of 156 can’t be exhausted here.
Speaking of “Akef Circus”, y’all rememba those clowns (they really are) in the early 90’s that came over from Cairo (and disrupted our show of “hands off my car” on UTV) and ended up crashing their makeshift roller coaster before fleeing down south? Well they remind one of Hosni Mubarak, that chap that is almost being toppled.
Hosni, the 82 year old living mummy says he is so fed up of the presidency, but if he dares leave, there shall be widespread chaos in Egypt! But now, what can we call what is happening there right now? I never want to reach 82! Never to see clearly!
Hosni has been calling on African leaders to find a solution on “how to really cling to power”, and these were some of the responses;
Mugabe: “Fella, I was once your age and had the exact same situation, just look for the lead bugger and make him Executive VP”
Kibaki: “Same here bro, it’s hard being old”
Mandela: “Just quit!”
Kaunda: “Listen to Nelson, there’s life out there for we living mummies”
Kagu: “It depends…..are u a revolutionary?? No!!! Fella, am with Nelson on this one, Quit!”
Mswati: “Man, just hand over to Hosni W. Mubarak Gamal, we still do that here!”
Omar El Bashir: “Declare yourself “the last pharaoh bitch”
Zuma: “u raped who??? Oh, that, sorry bro, never really been in that situation!”
But if u also gave me 20 million every other election, just for just, I just may join politrix!!
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