Chicks are known to NEVER be in a hurry. U be there going to a wedding mass/service/prayer stuffs, u be all suited up, but the chick is still in the shower, ensuring you get to church late! This phenomenon has been studied, not necessarily by some professor, but by we the ordinary person, and a case study of the ATM machines is one strong case in point.
A certain bank, in it’s usual bid to come up with a first, had the following proposals considered so that it’s male customers spend less time at the ATM machines (and it’s definitely not Crane Bank, those guys that have been “banker of the year” for 8 straight years, apparently according to some “financial” magazine in the UK, heck, it could be the “African Woman” of some district in Scotland!)
The bank is going to introduce “drive-in ATM’s”. The innovator of this new system is trying to copy the technology used at the airport, where the driver presses a button and retrieves a ticket, all this while still in the car. However, because of the delays mentioned above by chicks, there shall be, for a start, 2 sets of rules at the stand-alone ATM machines, with the following rules:
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up to the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write amount withdrawn on that paper with “shopping list”.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 meters.
27. Release Parking Brake.
28. Head to Nakumatt!!
6 comments:
oh HELL no!!!!
as a person who hates wasting time,i refuse to be included in such mix.
(u know since i'm female)
a few pple with a lot of time on their hands do not represent our whole gender
(and thanks for providing my rant for the day.lol)
i won't even go into the fact that you've called us stupid (who forgets their ATM pin number- or better still leaves it in the same bag as their debit card???)and bad drivers (driving with the hand brake on)
i'm sending u a loud, ghetto american ' OH NO YOU DI INT !!!'
Calm down "angry female"!!!
One day, u shall be standing outside an ATM for like 15 minutes, then when the door FINALLY opens and a chick comes out with one of those large handbags...........i shall be here patiently waiting for you to be like "damn, u were right the WHOLE time! OH YES YOU DID!!!"
Maybe if all chicks were like you (hate wasting time), all weddings would begin in time! Kudos to you though, the trailblazer!!
i promise, in writing, that if i ever do even one of the things listed on yr list (keeping my pin number in my bag, looking for it while i'm in the queue and then stopping to put on makeup before i drive off with the handbrake down)
a public apology - on this very page! worded any way you like it...
=D
btw, in the past week, my mother (the least scatterbrained person i know) has misplaced her bag (and informed me that she was superworried because both her atm card and a piece of paper containing her pin number on it were in there)
AND 2 of my friends turned up at my house an HOUR late to go out and made me wait an additional 45 minutes for them to shower and get ready.
so, i rest my case. offensive though i found this blog post, i admit that,sadly, many, many women would probably do exactly as i described. sadly.
and i apologise for my over reaction (and the length of this apology, clearly i have way too much time on my hands!)
sorry =D
Ms Zsamm,
In case you have never noticed, i stopped being offended like 50 years ago, before i was even a sperm!!
This clearly explains the "rants" (assuming everyone else is non-offendable), so it's coo!!
Enjoy life (before al-shabbab inevitably blows us off)
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