Soccer Bullshit!!!

If you are a sucker for attention, better not die during the world cup! This is weird, but actually true.

“THERE was chaos in Busia on Sunday when mourners abandoned a burial to watch the World Cup football match between Ghana and Serbia. The incident happened in Mugungu ‘B’ village in Busia town during the burial of Moses Wafula, a casual labourer, who died of kidney cancer on Saturday.

Mourners, including the dead man’s brother, Bwire Ojusi, blamed Pastor Moses Barasa of the Calvary Church for prolonging the sermon yet the match was about to kick off. Frustrated, Ojusi organised his friends, who stealthily carried the body from the make-shift shelter, where it had been placed during prayers, to the grave, before the end of the prayers.

On realising that the body was missing, the Pastor rushed to the grave to stop the burial. The mourners almost pounced on Barasa, accusing him of making them miss the match. “If we cannot bury now, we are leaving you with the body. We have to go and support Ghana,” said Ojusi. In Munyonyo, International Criminal Court delegates abandoned the meeting to watch the host country take on Mexico, which match ended 1:1.”

That was the New Vision story. There is also a saying that goes “the number of people that turn up at your funeral will depend on the weather”, coz if it rains, you are on your own. Kci and Jojo can attest to this, after rains pounded Kla on that easter weekend the entire bloody Sunday, ‘twas a no show!!

So what’s with this football stuff anyway? Guys have been known to abandon wedding receptions cause “Chelsea is playing at home, the reds are coming to Stamford Bridge”, Bitch, like you live there!!

We have some idiots that are really going over board, just talking shit;

“We have just bought Ronaldo for 80 million pounds from those goons!”. Now, dare ask this guy for a pint. You would think the pounds are in his pocket!

As I was chilling at a bar the other day, this chap was goin on and on about how “that guy wants to play in Spain, he has to leave England because with his current 30,000 pounds a week, he pays 40% as taxes yet in Spain the tax is only 10%, so in essence, he will earn more, unless he asks for a clause where the club commits to pay his taxes excluding the salary…!!!

Shit, this guy is freakin good! So I asked the guy how much PAYE I have to pay here in Uganda in case I earn 30,000 shillings a week! He promptly asked me to fuck off and go ask the freakin consultants who had read their books, coz that shit ain't on the highlights channel - BITCH!!!

Now I get it, let’s teach tax laws based on Drogba’s earnings!! Let’s teach human resource management based on how Man U hires it’s managers. Let’s teach procurement laws based on how Arsenal buys and sells players! Damn, our kids would be the brightest.

Talk of “making use of stunted brains!!”

Now, let’s go watch that next world cup game!