Job Hunting??

Am sure there’s a graduation today, it’s Friday right? What with all the Universities we have, there could be one at Ndejje!

It’s weird when u see all the plastic joy, chaps throwing their graduation caps way up in the air, as if they have received an appointment letter to work with the GAVI fund project! These chaps then go ahead to “waste” 3 million bucks on a grad party, then hit the streets in search of a job, ‘stead ‘o using the 3 mill to set up a container and sell freakin’ baby’s clothes and diapers!

Anywho, since these “educated” chaps are going to hit the streets, armed with their CV’s, with the greatest achievements being, but not limited to;

• Class prefect, P3A, St Donozio Sebugwawo Nursery and Primary school.
• Teasurer, Interact club, Duhaga High
• Member, Student’s guild, Ndejje University.

That’s not exactly great, especially if the Human Resource fella was in Buddo!

But what exactly is needed when u see these job ads, let’s dissect them;

1 – Competitive salary: We compete with Indians to see who pays less!

2 – At least a Masters Degree in Administration: Atleast??? Like there is anything higher than that? Which PhD holder is going to be looking in the papers for a silly job, as if he is not consulting at the University of Malawi, for God’s sake!

3 – Must be flexible: On some occasions, u may be required to do ballet, yoga and aerobics stuffs while in office!

4 – No phone calls: You see, according to the laws governing our company, we are required to advertise this job just for formalities sake, but Robert took that position some time back, so don’t call us, u job hunting bitch!!

5 – Our fast paced company – We don’t have time to train you, we hope u are bright!

6 – Minimum 3 year experience - We will treat you “slightly” better than your last job! We are seriously hoping you had one….or 2!!

7 – Some overtime required – We shall take some of your night time, and some of your weekend too, but for the same dimes we agreed for normal working hours.

8 – Duties will vary – Any office fool can boss you around!

9 – Requires team leadership skills – You shall have the responsibilities of a manager – but without the pay and respect!

And the winner –

10 – Apply in person: We are looking for a ki ballistic looking brown brown!!!

There’s the tips!!