A Tirade at Religion!!

It’s official, we need divine intervention to save the country! Matter of fact, we should just end all this shit by voting God to lead us from 2011, that’s election time!

A national day of prayer was held yesterday at the Kololo airstrip. Thousands of worshippers showed up, and prayers were led by the big guns from all religions, the army, police, URA, judiciary, media and the Big man Kagu him-u-selef!

The Prez said “immoral acts such as human sacrifice, sexual perversion, bribery, witchcraft and corruption have eaten into society, and these acts have not pleased God. We therefore run the risk of losing out on God’s blessings if we choose to continue disobeying Him”.

This God thing is being taken too seriously. For example, one of the religious guys was like “God, warrupp!!! I know this is the 7th day and u are resting, u see, av checked your schedule…..but Gad, we have HIV, corruption and many other things killing us here…please come and save us…!”

What’s wrong with these quasi-religious lumpens? God sent condoms, abstinence, nude pictures for wankers and ARV’s, use them bitches! He also sent an in-built conscience to every living human being to curb things like corruption, by making us feel super guilty when we steal dimes!

These same religious goons and at the same time the largest hypocrites of all time, going by superfluous titles like “arch deacon” and “the right reverend” or “the holy freakin see” are the very same bastards that erode these guilt feelings by offering “confession” to anyone that feels has wronged someone else! They then go ahead to tell people how “God is all merciful and forgiving, go say 3 Hail Mary’s and 4 Our Fathers and you are forgiven”, they then go ahead and call you stuff like “my son”!

These stupidly small punishments mean that the thieving son of a bitch will have all his bad feelings erased from his conscience within a couple of minutes, then he will return back to that “road project fund”, steal more dimes then confess again after that!

The same “dress-wearing and large hat-donning” punks will then go to their congregations and proclaim how “condoms were made by the devil, they have holes in them that transfer evil from one person to the next” and the Cardinal guy is telling chaps to burn all pills that help with family planning, coz “God wants us to have as many children as we can”, then the same idiots start praying for divine assistance with un-employment and poverty!! How about you just let people have a manageable number of kids!!! Silly religious punks!!

How about you cut off the thieving bastard’s stealing fingers? This is how Iran and China developed, at least! They are not praying to Allah, they are doing what Allah told them to do! Although unfortunately sometimes they go way beyond the necessary, by for example sentencing chicks to the brutal punishment of “gang rape” for walking in the streets un-veiled!

The silly minister for ethics, a former UPC minister in the 80’s when Ugandans were being killed like roaches in a kitchen cupboard in the Bugolobi flats, went ahead and asked all corrupt ministers to repent for their sins and start a new! How about they arrest these idiots instead?

Religion is crap!! Human’s belief in some non-existent being that will help us is just misleading and bogus! We have been equipped with all the tools necessary to live a harmonious life, with feelings of guilt to check us when we are wrong. Some humans however have no conscience and will murder, pillage and rape at will with no remorse, and that’s why we have prisons and courts of law. But praying to God for guidance, now that’s bullshit!

Man created God, in his own image! God is the nice side of life. Man also created the devil, which is the guilty conscience side of life. Heaven is that part of life where everything is going so well, nice job, nice family and crap like that, whereas hell is the bad times we go through, unemployment, rioters messing up yo usual existence and silly opportunists like that idiot at work that keeps reporting you to the boss.

As a seventh day absentist therefore, I would wish for a world where people stop being hypocrites, stop being greedy, trying to put personalized plates on their cars to pose on us, which causes others to rob from the rest, so they can pose too! Stop forcing down our throats the so-called “words of the savior” and feeding us on his “body and blood”, that’s some disgusting vampire shit!!

End of religious rant!

(I expect to be called "false prophet", "Blaspheming punk" and "lost soul", so be it!!)