Oxy Morons!!

Oxymoron: Conjoining contradictory terms; according to this thingy called “dictionary”, the second most stolen item in bookshops and book shelves worldwide – after the bible!

This life is so full of contradictions, so the term “oxymoron” came up to describe just that, for example;

The early bird gets the worm – but the second mouse gets the cheese (or the groundnut, for us chaps in Mawokotta!! (alright Maggie, you see the first rat gets killed in the trap trying to get that nut – u slow bitch!!)

Then – Birds of a feather flock together, like doves – but then, opposites attract, like Whitney and Bobby!

So, it was no surprise when I discovered that punks from the villages go to their local church and drink “holy water”, oba “blessed water”, that water that beez there by the church entracnce for chaps to rub against their foreheads in a cross sign. No wonder these punks be dying of cholera! The un-questionable beliefs of the powers of these priests and the reality on the ground, is one huge oxymoron! These locals are “oxy-morons!”

Chick’s/ hot mamas like to refer to males as “children”, “dogs” and “wankers”, the last one is just for illustration. But as a guy that provides food, airtime and salon dimes for the family, this “child” is a fully grown adult, so for being called “Adult Children”, chicks are being “oxy-morons!!!”, pun intended! (I did it for the pun of it)

Backstreet boys, those gay punks who be in Pastor Sempa’s videos. Not that they said anything contradictory, but we, yes we, the music die-hards, are still trying to figure out what exactly these butty boys were high on, to sing a bullshit song with the lyrics “show me the meaning of being lonely!!”. A bunch of morons, that’s what they are!! An oxymoron however, is a chick that tells a chap, “let’s go some far away place and be alone together! Alone together?? Either u are alone, or together, pick one bitch!!

“The difference is the similarity” – u shall hear this phrase at least 3 times in your lifetime, and it shall be said most likely by the bastard that serves tea at the staff canteen, trying to impress with his English skills. “Garcon', I ordered tea, not coffe!!” “But Sir, the difference is the similarity”, the loon will quip!

This one is HUGE!!! “Cardinal Sin”. This is a major sin according to some verses from that ballistic fiction novel “the bible”. This book is a “two-logy” with the Old and then New testament , as if Lord of the rings, the latter being a “tri-logy”. It tells us that the cardinal sins are the deadliest of all, including “pride (all NRM chaps)” “greed (Global fund chaps)” “Lust (Bebe Cool)” “Anger (Kiiza Besigye and his entire crew)” “Gluttony (CHOGM chaps)” “Envy (Olara Otunnu)” and “Sloth (I have no clue what the hell this means)” A cardinal is the highest ranked chap in the catholic religion, if he is not called "Pope", by any chance, and is as if a Lt General. A sin is the worst thing a civilian in this same religion can do. So, why name this bad shit “cardinal sin??”, what a bunch of oxy – MORONS!!

“Civil Servant”. One would expect these selfish bastards to be servants of the civilian community, but they are the Kings. Driving us off our roads with their silly sirens, chewing dimes for our roads, dozing off in parliament, going to their private clinics ‘stead ‘o treating us in Mulago – what a bunch of morons, Oxy that is!!

“Consensual rape”. This one comes in 2 forms;

1 – The chick likes it rough!!!!!

2 – The guy allows to be raped!!

These categories do NOT involve morons in any way, this is ballistic shit!!

“Doing nothing”. A common oxy moronic statement used by bu campus chicks when they want free lunch from “Tipsy takeaway”. “Kyokka honey where are you?? Am just here in my room doing nothing!!” Can u pass by? And bring chips and chicken on yo-wa way!!”. Now, how contradictory is that? Doing nothing!!

“Graduate student”. Usually, you are called a Graduate after you….erm, graduate! So why do students pose on us mbu they are “graduate students?” Morons….oxy!

“Ice tea”. Take a stroll down to Mateos and see for yourselves a bunch of posers, drinking their loans! They be sophisticated these days, coz they drink 2 forms of object matter. I remember that science shit, water, steam and ice, three forms of the same stuff, oba h20 and ph2so, anyway, it was some shit like that. Corporate posers be drinking both, at the same freakin time! This does not get more contradictory, ice tea, ice water………..morons!!

Finally, the contradiction you may be involved in – “Self-help Group”. U are trying to help yo-wa self, but in a group! This is common among these born again punks that give silly assignments to be done in groups, as if therapy sessions, and call them self-help. Maybe to help the church raise more dimes – in groups!

Enough with the oxy-morons, it’s the scheduled time for my “self-help group” meeting, at the “aethist’s church” of “latter day lumpens” just a “short distance” away. Out!!