Pastor Kayanja has vowed “never to forgive” the four pastors who dragged him to court on account of him “playing golf on the wrong golf courses”, if u know wat I mean.
In other un-related news, the Pastor, while preaching to his congregation on one of his many “healing crusade tours”, told them that forgiving another person is the most divine attribute anyone can have and will guarantee them entering heaven when the time comes, as they shall have portrayed a characteristic only Jesus has ever shown, since it was he that said, “thou selfish punk shall forgive thine nasty offender seventy times seven times”
Ok Jesus, let’s assume we follow you up on this, seventy times seven, according to my “Cashio” fake digital calculator, is 490 times. This means that after being offended and thereafter forgiving punks for bullshit crimes against you 490 times, you have every right to kick their balls right back into their sacs, or bitch slap the offenders if you just so happen to be stronger than they are.
I still have 2 cases against the Government to reach 490 then I shall also riot, but KCC is now on 623, and a couple of corporate bosses reached 900 “crimes” by Sep 2010, crimes of which include “feeling ballistic with their ipads”, mbu they are “conferencing with group about regional quarterly targets”, posing wankers!!
Forgiving is not in itself an end, as it entails the rather difficult bit of forgetting, which is next to impossible, unless you are a politician and are tasked to remember your campaign promises! Or a husband for that matter, after proclaiming to all those promises and vows at the alter that are somehow quickly forgotten, now that’s some bullshit!
Jesus did not forget the lashes he received, or the crown of thorns bestowed upon his forehead, which explains why he refused to return to earth in the year 2000, as had been threatened by his “messiahs” in Revelations. “Dad, send someone else, those earth guys are maniacs”, he was quoted as saying by a heavenly tabloid! “Besigye hasn’t even had half of what I went through”, he reiterated his thoughts.
However even in all this punishment, Jesus said he had forgiven his tormentors, unlike Ghaddafi who simply kept asking “what have I done to you?” The Holy Son, who is not being groomed for the top spot owing to the fact that his Father’s job is forever, said “I forgive ‘em, for they do not know what they are doing”, a statement that has been dismissed as cow pupu by the Pastor Kayanja. He (Kayanja) said, “my tormentors know what they are doing, so fuck ‘em”, although in the real words he was more cautious with his French.
Kizza Besigye, who has gone through a kind of similar treatment like Jesus (Unlike the cross, he was carrying his rack sack the whole time, oba it has a fresh pair of sneakers) has also not forgiven his tormentors, the tear gas platoon! He wants to sue them individually at the ICC, the International Criminal Court for Africans, we wait.
So as we head toward yet another festive season of forgiving, let’s remember that that it strictly applies only 490 times, however, you have to forget the number of times.
That is the irony!
No comments:
Post a Comment