Phone company blues!!

It must really be a bitch to work in the marketing department of a phone company in Ug right now, those guys don’t sleep. And it’s not only them that are losing sleep, we the confused clients are as confused as a DP party leader trying to figure out what faction to join.

Warid has unlash the new paka last, with a very annoying ad about a chap who hesitates to say “I do” in church till they tell him the marriage is pakalast, and that’s when the bastard screams I DO!! If I were the chick, I would bitch-slap this lumpen to reality, “coz I ain’t airtime bitch!!”

Warid’s offer however is turning out to be the ballisticeth, in terms of we humans, always looking out for the cheapest alternative, except if you are Nasser Sebagala and u put all yo dimes on a losing DP presidential bid, knowing full well that that stuff of “we shall remove Museveni” is so cliché, even old people are sick of hearing it.

Back to Warid, they have made calls so cheap, heck, even the chap that cleans out the kaveeras that have been dragged by rain water right up to my door step can call me to tell me his bullshit of “zeya have very many polysins zis time, zat will be 5 souzand for today, senk u veli many!”

The Orange buggers (bless their internet), in a bid to counter ALL this progress made by Warid, came up with a very genius plan, to reward people in a back to school promotion, to last the month of February. We subscribers to this network were jumping in celebration whenever we would buy airtime of 5 thou bucks, coz we were rewarded with an exercise book, from some punks called “Picfare”, 32 pages to be precise!! If however you bought airtime of 2 thou, these guys gave u a “Nice Clear” pen. We couldn’t believe our eyes, becoz for ONLY 5,000 shillings worth of airtime, one was crystal clear sure of winning a book worth a magnanimous, whooping, overwhelming, HUGE 200 shillings! Converted to Dollars, 200 shillings has no dollar value! They don’t see sense in such little dimes, even the American beggar may land u a round-kick for undermining his integrity with 2 hundred uganda bucks, but no, not Orange. They have however put their act together and offered us at least 5 days of free talk if you can load airtime on yo phone, however, u must only be calling anatha chap on Orange, the challenge now is, WHERE THE HELL DO U FIND A CHAP ON ORANGE??? We have since donated these books to our housegirls to be writing in the shit they need for the week;

1 onions

3 bunzaalis

1 slippers for uncle

3 tomatoe for boil food

2 tookes for lunches

5 kilos groundinutis for baby and milk from goat

2 chapati

that is for whole week!!!!

The Zain punks, now famous for bringing in that chap for just an hour, after advertising for almost a FULL year, 365 days, 60 billion seconds, 80 million hours, only to perform for just 1 hour, are also trying to jump on this bandwagon. They are offering a similar thing, but don’t be so sure, coz they are advertising free calls from 6am to 6pm if u load airtime the previous day, but knowing their stuff, you may load airtime and get just ONE hour! They’ve done it before!

MTN has stuck to their ol skool “MTN Zone”, looks like all the chaps in their “innovations and keeping up with the rival” department took indefinite leave. They even brought back kabiriiti, talk about stale shit!

UTL has insisted that their market is STRICTLY on campus, so if u never catch Hot 100 FM, u may think they went extinct. These guys can be found at “Buzz teenies awards”, “Buzz teenies magazine”, “Campus nights” and “Youth without dimes awards”. They gave up on us chaps already!

We only wish 2 telecom companies, like strugglers Orange and Smiles telecom could gang up and offer free calls to chaps on their networks, but then again, are they that many?

Al just buy 2 dual sim card phones, and call for free from whichever network the person am callin is on, its that simple!