Get these ads off the radio networks!!

Too much of anything is always bad – that was a popular saying in those days when elders still mattered. Water, much as it cleans our clothes, floors and gives us a ballistic time when we go swimming, could drown yo ass if it comes in torrents, like the floods of Bwaise.

Wonder what am on? These silly adverts of “Get off the sexual network”, we need to start ads to get these annoying ads off the radio networks!! At first, chaps were like “my, these ads are really pumpin some sense into me, I felt guilty as hell listening to that ad with my wife in the car…..” this gave the buggers behind the sexual ads more gusto to pump in more ads.

Now, the bastards have even started using kids, poor little children, in an effort to scare the wits out of us chaps, not minding the effects it will have on these kids, like one where a kid has no dimes, for some reason cant buy chicken, or whatever the hell it is that this kid has been buying for a long time, and explains to a friend how “daddy died from a side dish, and now I cant afford chicken as I used to”. And what the hell is it with the side dish?

In our days, before we grew into the “rolex” age, we used to sit home for a meal, and on the side used to be a dish with carrots, veggies and stuff, known as the “side dish”, add if you will. Now you cant even ask for one, coz of these ads. If you want carrots, you’ll be forced to say “erm, Bub, could you please pass me that plastic thingy with carrots and stuff, need some veggies, sench u” otherwise if you say “Bub, can I have some of that side dish”, Bub will think you want his wife!

But then again, the ads are apparently targeted at married people, who seem to have taken cheatin on their wives to levels unknown to their single colleagues. All this time, I thought it’s the single chaps, we irresponsible-no-givin-a-shit type that were spreadin this insect like a problem, kumbe it’s those chaps that lied to a priest and over 800 guests mbu “I swear this is my only chick from now till I enter the ground lifeless”, they be on the hunt for fresh gazelle every second their wives turn their heads to look at yet another dress they may want, at Woolworths, thinking they are couple-window-shoppin, kumbe the bastard is shopping for a fresh female kill!

These married chaps need a whole new level of counselling if these ads are for real. What’s the idea, the BIG IDEA, of these ringed-fellows not being happy with one wife? After making us pay pledges, fines at meetings, putting us on “time keeping committee” where we wake up at 6am to ensure the future bastard is at the salon to have his hair trimmed, probably so that other chicks attending the wedding shall like him, and not as a close friend, and then they do this shit to us? Chicks should stop calling these chaps their “Mr Right”, coz now we know they are “Mr Right Now, glad to meet you, now I gotta run!”

Chicks shouldn’t be giggling either, coz we all know these married guys are not on a sexual network with their pillows, palms and towels, that kind of full time cheatin ends after high school, don’t be deceived, it still goes on till death, on a part-time basis, and as some genius put it, “it’s making love to someone you really love”, plus it doesn’t spread disease. Back to the point, chicks abet this vice. Nga they can be smiling when they see a ring on a chap! They be like “mama, as this ka guy is so ka sweet, he decided to stay faithful to one chick forever? I WANT HIM!!”

Us rolex-munching, beer-guzzlin single chaps are labelled as “cant be trusted, he wants to hit it and quit it”, but fortunately, we have discovered who the REAL lumpens are, thanks to those annoying adverts!!

So here’s our new slogan;

BACHELOR FOR LIFE – HELPING STOP THE SPREAD OF DISEASE – and also helping poor little kids eat chicken for life!!!