Uganda becomes a Boarding school!!

This couldn’t wait, its an emergency. Either am drunk or am seeing things funnily, “am seeing in tongues!!”

Today’s headline, in the New Vision, “Security to clear parties, weddings” is not supposed to be a big deal, but read the paper, and u are in for a ki deadly shock. Under the new bullshit so called guidelines, issued yesterday, wedding receptions will only go ahead after clearance from the Police. Not bad, you may think, then here this;

“any gathering of more than 5 people in the city and its suburbs must get a clearance from the IGP”, this guy is goin to be the busiest chap EVER!

“We are sounding a warning. No gathering of more than 5 people, even if it is in your compound, shall be held without the clearance from the IGP. We want to ensure the safety of our 32 million people. If business owners can’t afford security gadgets, they should hire bouncers” What gives?? Is hiring free or what!“

This does not stop at weddings, but also applies to wedding meetings, funerals and vigils. Places like funerals attract many people so we need to ensure their safety”What crap!!

So now am in my compound, trying to drink that deadly evening pint, my 3 neighbours have shown up and 3 OB’s have brought pints! Shit, we are now 6, what can we do?

“Does any of you guys have the IGP’s number, we cant meet now, we are 6!!”

“Let one of us go drink at the garage, ok 2 of us so they don’t be lonely, that way, when the police show up, we shall be 4 and 2, no offence”

How about bars, there are usually crowds of more than 5. Now Cayenne has to get “multiple clearances” from the IGP, seeing as they host about 5,000 characters in a night!If this aint bullshit, then there’s no other name for it. Luckily, we have been thru this crap before and this too, shall pass, like the bullshit order to close bars at 10pm!Silly Police, like they don’t have any useful shit to do anymore!

Am really feeling bad for the time we have to go for a vigil, chaps, don’t die, I don’t have the IGP’s direct line, or we shall just dispose of you like the mafia, coz I ain’t getting arrested for nobody!! (that’s my excuse)