The biggest riots witnessed in the Pearl happened like 3 weeks ago. We dot com kids who usually see these scenes directly off Al jazeera were caught unawares! Watching Tv that day, I was sure it was usual business in Gaza, what with the tanks chasing after stone throwing buggers!
On careful scrutiny, we were told mbu the king of buganda had been denied access to a certain area of his territory. He was sure he had marked his boundaries, but the government chaps wanted none of it! He first sent an advance team to check out the area and prepare for him katogo and stuff, so when he arrived he wouldn’t have to look for food and all.
However, his advance team was stopped at the bridge to the area, and the advance chap stepped out, “Am King Jeffy Joffa, King of Zermuda, am looking for my son Akim!” The police chaps were like “dude, we saw that movie, coming to America or something, do not fool us ello!!”
This chap, who by the way is like the prime minister, immediately rang back to inform his chaps “I think its time for plan B”. Armed with stones and patches of tarmac that were plucked off our pot holes, punks started the riots! Tyres were burnt, policemen attacked and shops looted! The tear gas chaps, who have been bored for the last 5 or so months were woken up from their slumber, “gentlemen, lets go gas these fools”, their commander ordered!
Indians were seen in supermarkets buying Heinz baked beans and John West Sardines as they headed for temporary shelter at police stations indefinitely! Some of us chaps used this chance as a public holiday, running for the nearest pint, seeing as the upcoming Idd was going to be on a Sunday! We were just wondering why chaps were being tear gassed yet they could be with us on a pint!
Of course the president was quick to organise a “state of the nation” address where he reminded us of his usual stuff, “we have fought many wrong elements before, and we shall win this one also, we shall not torereate these judases!”
Rioters continued!
The usual political opportunists came out to blame government as usual, reporters were asking;
“how can we stop this mess?”
Politician;
“it’s the NRM government to blame!”
Reporter;
“How can we avoid such a scenario in future?”
Politician;
“it’s the NRM government to blame!”
Reporter;
“is it safe for us to go home now?”
Politician;
“it’s the NRM government to blame!”
Why do we riot for these chaps!
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