Campaign season is on, and everyone is tryin to get a piece of the action! If it’s not those forgery masters at Nkurumah road printing funny looking calendars with dates of 1995 or weird posters with funny slogans like “for development and peace” yet the ka idiot is standing for LC 2 councillor (what army? what peace?), it is advertisers; “as some of you know me, I am campaign for the post of chancellor….manya councilor, to change singsz…..senk u senk u, I will give u free air, from Zain”
Women, never cease to amaze! Yep, they too have demands coz its campaign season. They apparently have a “Women’s Forum” in Munyonyo in a coupla days, and as a pre cursor, hope that word is right, they make some noise to attract some attention to this gathering thingy! Their ring leader was over heard and also quoted in a newspaper saying “we want co-habiting legalized” Damn woman, that’s some heavy stuff!
Before the devil could say “Amen”, she cont-uned…continued! “Only married people are allowed to recover singz from their husbands when they divorce, or even when they die, what about the 80% of us who live with the ka man and he goes, we don’t get anysing!!! Wolololololooo zis is pure ssuggery of the highest order. Now that it is voting time, we shall only vote parties that advocate this agenda!”
Shit, now punks have to posture to these demands too! So all these bu campus chicks that be co-habiting in the Bugos flats, mbu now they want to take the flat screen after the shit has inevitably ended (which by a weird contrast is also 80% of the time!). The chick wants to take my slippers!! Maybe we should remove the 1.5 points they get to go to campus so they don’t start thinking too hard (chauvinist!! I know!!! Forgiveness preasse!!)
Anywho, the youth (also read unemployed ganja smokers and facebook addicts) are also clamouring a ministerial post from the next government! What a bunch! And their spokesman is a 38 year old lumpen that should be well into his 5th corporate job in a telecom company or bank (super sales executive, vending "packages")! Does this chap know who he represents? Real youth are now different, if you are to campaign to them, here is the stuff to do!
10. Refer to yoself as the Chillaxer-in-Chief
9. Limit speeches to 140 characters or less
8. Broadcast all addresses in 3D
7. Replace Geraldine Bitamazire with a hunky, brooding “twilight” vampire
6. Update yo facebook status every 3 minutes
5. Answer tough questions with "Whatevs"
4. Greet people with “’Sup y’all…..ya cool??”
3. Refer to yo abdominal muscles as "The Cabinet"
2. Check into rehab (Butabika will do), go to prison, check back into rehab, go back to prison, check back into rehab
1. Drink Sprite (oh, and eats loads of rolex...rolaz)!!
If only the campaigns were this cool, no one would be shifting “till the dust has settled”
‘Peace out y’all!!
3 comments:
Campaigns rock!! See, Obama aint fun any more!! Elections are like that! What war? The army is still NRM and will kick any ass! Forget Kenya, Kibaki has neva held a pistol. No wonder all he could do was go under the bed. Bring on the campaign fun!! Time for free pints and public holz.
Facebook......that was no some mean shit, nga people have stopped working!
Campaigns don't rock, there are no free pints, maybe sugar (with the hard crystals) or bar soap (for the jigger people). We'll see, 1 month to go!
Can't believe i wasted my time reading your crap when there is facebook to attend to! How does it feel for your stuff to be called crap? That's how we feel when you attack dear, dear, facebook! There I said it!
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