When the aliens invade......

Isn’t it nice to be in a Low Developing Country? We think normal! Our biggest worries are hitting the bloody MDG’s, which of course we won’t, coz we shall be busy spending that money on our “leaders”, fuck poor people!

The United Nations, a conglomerate of beaurocratic idiots with no clear intentions, set 2 goals to the 2 different classes of people that inhabit earth.

To the poor people, the ever nagging MDG’s, which are like an ACCA exam we are bound to fail, but still enroll for class anyway. To the rich people, they came up with some organization, whose acronyms you don’t care to know coz it’s worthless anyway, to deal with “Outer Space”.

A Malaysian chick has been named to head this nonsensical venture, her top responsibility being “meeting the aliens when they show up and be like ”take me to your leader””. She will be the leader.

Who thinks up this shit?? Ban Ki Moon?? No wonder the fella is named “moon”, outer space material I tell ya.

So what’s the scenario.

A ki space ship lands (and obviously not in Africa, y’all seen the movies) and some soldiers are called in to surround the damn thing. The lead alien (who we assume is way brighter than we be) steps out of the space ship and mumbles some shit! For some strange reason, the sub-titles will show and the army guy will immediately know that this chap wants to see the leader…..for what? Who knows? Ask Moon! (in case it lands in Africa, the army guys will ask for a bribe to "connect" the alien / investor to State House)

Anywho, the army guy calls the UN and tells the chick “Bitch, finally some work you can actually do…..so much for all the salary you have been getting for no work done….your bitchy royal days are over, talk to this alien”

“Hi..is it Sir or Madam, this is the Leader of Earth, wanna come over for a cup of tea and a chat?, IT’S ALL WE DO AT THE UN”

You just have to wonder what else this “alien” will want apart from tea. Maybe take some people as slaves to work on their farms, and if this is the case, the Malaysian chick has been instructed by the “Security Council” to direct these aliens to “Darfur”. They were like “Fuck it, they are killing themselves anyway, offer them some real jobs out there”. The team has also been briefed that……

In case the aliens want chaps who never really grow old, they’ll throw in Mugabe and Kenneth Kaunda!

In case they want a Shaspearean guy who is all talk and no action – throw in Obama.

In case they need mercenaries’ who strictly fight for dimes (to hell with a cause) - the US military.

In case they need perpetually perennial losers – Besigye, Raila, all Kagame’s opponents, Arsenal….

In case they need conspiracy theorists to fool an entire planet – The Vatican and other religious heads.

In case they need suicide bombers who have given up hope on life – The FDC and IPC chaps.

In case they need socializing animals who blast all week – Face bookers.

In case they need very good liars – Politicians.

In case they need nagging annoying bullshit chicks – Viewers of Saborati, Eduardo, side mirror!!

In case they need crap - Send this blog (and KCC)!!