News streamin’ in from the South is quite interesting, let’s only hope it’s not the usual British propaganda, but this time am sure it ain’t!
Robert Mugabe (that colossal archeological 85 year old fixture) has been devastated….not by his sister’s death (who was still young at 75), not by the latest grim economic figures recently released and definitely not by the fact that Morgan Changaa’ is going to break away from the unity govt when it’s “mandate” expires, but because his wife Grace, a high flying ki brown brown who is 44 years old (way far from menopause, unlike her fossil husband) has been cheatin’ on him (surprise surprise) with his best friend and personal banker, a one Gideon Gono.
Mugabe (that archeological character that should be buried in Old Vai Gorge with Zinjathropas’ remains since they were born together) was told of this affair by his sister who was on her death bed, heck, she had nothing to lose!
He quickly summoned his personal bodyguard whom he had assigned the duty of keeping this chick within his sights, and the news he gave Mugabe was more devastating than the losses he made in the rigged parliamentary elections of 2003!
The guard said he knew the shit was going on for like 2 years or so, but he feared to tell the big (and very old) boss Robert! He was summarily poisoned and buried without a post mortem, they said it was a severe case of Bugisu jiggers, poor fella!
The ballistic Grace, who shops her stuff from China and Bangkok after she was locked out of the Great UK and major shops in Paris and New York, hooked up with the real deal, a 50 year old Reserve Bank chief with a 47 bedroom house in a country with an estimated total of just 4,700 bedrooms! The rest are iron sheet structures held together by stones on the roofs. That way, the bodyguard had no idea which bedroom the screams were emanating from.
But re-ya-lly, am on Grace’s side on this one. This lumpen Mugabe had her as his ballistic secretary (u gotta have one as a powerful chap) in the mid-90’s. He landed for this chick harder than the kiboko squad’s ripples after that cane, and started an affair with her (she was already married, she is an affair kinda chick, she rolls like that) and kumbe all this time Mugabe’s popular wife Sally was battling kidney cancer.
As soon as Sally died in 1996 (his wish granted) he married the flamboyant-cheating-sassy lass Grace, to the chagrin of his comrades, who thought this was some kamanyiiro of the highest degree. His bu boys had swam well and they had sired 2 lousy bundles of pampers from this affair.
This chick has meanwhile had 2 other affairs since marrying the colossal failure Mugabe, one of the chaps died in a weird car accident (they said it run out of fuel – then killed him in anger) and the other got driven outta town like Okwir Rwaboni in 2002, never to return. The current chap is fearing for his life (and sexual organs he couldn’t control while at it) and is on the low low.
And just recently 1 month ago, the Justice Minister (married) of Swaziland ku-manyiraad the man of the moment King Mswati the virgin conqueror by having an affair with his 12th wife (out of a very miserly 13) a former ki ballistic Miss Teen who at 22 wanted more chows than the lumpen King was offering!
The Minister, a “childhood friend” (as if Kategaya) of the King, was put under surveillance after intelligence sources saw him on numerous occasions eyeing the ka young queen in suggestive ways (virgin eyes he had). She has since been put under house arrest pending trial.
The weirdest shit about all this is the sentences these two are likely to receive, kinda reminds ya of the MGM classic Ben Hur type movies...
If found guilty, the ka ballistic 22 year old will be banished from Swaziland, probably to the land of far far away, while the Justice Minister will be guillotined and his head fed to a bunch of hungry warthogs in the forests!! He will probably be taken there with a couple of chaps he brought to justice earlier, as the freakin Justice Minister.
So what do we learn from all this!
Money is bullshit! Ok, not totally, it helps lure the broad! But after that……..the chick needs way more than that dime shit!
So from now on, my goal is to be a close confidnt to a rich old tard with a taste for the sassy lasses that prowl our town, easy quick meal!! Shit, problem is I could get executed…or poisoned….or car crashed!!
The things we do for chicks!
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