Memorable TV Quotes!!

Gotta love movies on a stray Monday afternoon (u have to forget work for a while, who the hell loves work anyways?). Chaps that write this shit are just too imaginative u wish you would watch a movie the whole day (and not who killed Captain Alex…wololololololo).

Watching “Heat”, the 1995 crime movie, police on the hunt for the bad guys, one of the guys who has been trailed for the most part of the day gets on the phone to the other guy and goes;

“man u gotta watch yo back, the feds are so onto me like a cheap suit…” and it sure does remind you of some knock off CK jean that just couldn’t let go of your skin.

Although most old (30 year old buggers) pretend not to watch cartoons (not today’s, those suck) but am talkin’ bout the looney toons, some of these guys had one liners that just crack you up, like the chicken Foghorn Leghorn;

“This boy’s as confused as a feather in a whirlwind…”

“This boy’s as strong as an ox….and just about as smart”

“That girl’s like the road between Fortworth and Dallas…….no curves!!”

“Some days it don’t pay to get outta bed”

“What’s the matter with you, you look like 2 miles of bad road!!”

“Are you alright son, I keep hearing the most terrifying sounds in there!”

“You’ve gotta be a magician to keep a kid’s attention more than 2 minutes nowadays”

“That dog’s busier than a centipede at a toe-countin’ contest…”

“That boy’s just like a tattoo….gets under yo skin”

“That boy’s as timid as a rodent at a cat-show!”

The mafia movies though have memorable quotes for the bad-ass-ness they potray those chaps;

“I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse”

”You talkin’ to me”

“This isn’t personal kay, this is business!”

“I took the liberty of bullshittin you!”

“Men should be like Kleenex…soft, strong and disposable!” (chick to a bunch of chaps)

“Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash!”

“That’s classified, if I tell you, I’ll have to kill you”

“Sucking all the bone marrow out of life doesn’t mean chocking on the bone”

“You seem somewhat familiar….have I threatened you before?”

That’s too damn serious for my liking, back to my favorite chaps, Sanford and Son (Redd Foxx) and Richard Pryor, and the favorite one liners, first Mr Foxx;

“The food here is so tasteless…u could eat a meal of it and belch, and it wouldn’t remind u of anything!”

“I am 65, my friends’ say I look 55, I feel 45, I’ll settle for 35, but u make me feel 25!”

“Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone!”

“A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends eventually have to part..”

“She’s got TB…..Terrific Body!”

“Let me tell you something. If you ain't outta here by the time I count to three I'm gonna take this crutch and wrap it around your head so many times you'd think you were wearing a wooden turban!”

“Employment officer: What’s yo education background?
Sanford: Well I was working towards my PhD but didn’t quite make it!
Employment Officer: Well how far did you get?
Sandford: About the 10th Grade!!”

Richard Pryor:

“I went to Zimbabwe…I know how white people feel in America now, relaxed! Cause when I heard the police car I knew they weren’t coming after me!”

“I believe in the institution of marriage and I intend to keep trying till I get it right!”

“He was doin a sentence.....triple life! How do you do triple life? He has to die and come back and go to prison? F*****n kindergarten, get your little ass back to the penitentiary!”

“Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings…..and lawyers!”

“You don’t f**k with double muslims, coz they can't wait to get to Allah, and they always take 8-12 people with them!”

“Slaves built all the shit down here…..or carried the shit that built it!”

“I’m not addicted to coke, I just love the way it smells. I couldn’t stop, I put the pipe down, it jumped back right at me!”

And that’s just about it!