Beefs!!!

Some people need to be castrated, even if they are female! Situations in life dictate that there are always laws and stuf that we have to follow at different times, and the buggers that tend to enforce these are the most fucked up people u’ll ever meet, because u, like most of us, hate to live by the rules. These are the punks!

1 – URA employees – People who work for this so called body, mbu tax body, but not body of Christ, will send shivers down the spine of any dime earning chap in town. These fuckers knock yo door down with freakin demand notes with not so nice words, one wonders how they vibe chicks….they usually send burly chaps with tight hugging t shirts to scare us into paying them dimes, they got to hit their targets u know! They be carrying around letters;

Re: Dear non-tax paying goon,

We have noticed that in the financial year 2006 to 2007, yo ass didn’t give Caesar what belonged, and if you are confused, I AM Caesar, u slow bitch!! Now, if you don’t comply within 7 days, we shall fine u more dimes than the total amount stolen by CHOGM officials, so do the damn thing now!

Footnote: URA – helping Govt officials access more dimes from you, for their houses, senk u!

2 – Customers – Those of us in the unofficial industry of “coordinating”, also known as hassling for dimes, hate the people who buy shit from us, especially African punks, being mean with their bu little dimes, can’t even buy freakin mosquito nets. Aaannyhooo, we be there hawking our stuff (including top of the range slippers, from Sadak), then we come across the customers, and here is how we suffer;

“ello boss, nice slippers here, u can even take them to work and people will think they are open shoes”

“how much?”

“6 souzand boss…”

“no way, what’s the last price??”

“That’s the last price!!!! U incompetent slipper buying punk!!”

What’s the deal with “last price”?? Chaps walk into Spear Motors and are told how the ML is 65 million before taxes and they be on that “last price” bullshit! So, we, yes, we the slipper peddlers, have come up with the ingenious method of asking for 10,000 bucks if we aim for 6! That way, when the punk starts asking for “last price”, we be like “SIX, and no going down!!

3 – Managers – These are the buggers that have their names in a box, a line above yo name, in that funny stuff called “organigram”. These are the chaps you pretend you have a heavy fever for, coz now u are paying from that Wednesday kasiki and cant show up to work, so u have to call this chap and beg him for forgiveness like the catholic priests that violated little choir boys’ innocent behinds!

The manager will first “let u know” that he didn’t climb that ladder to get where he is by falling sick, let alone pretending to be sick. He will then go ahead and give u ballistic lines he crammed from “the one minute manager” and then give u an ultimatum to show up “or else…..”

Unfortunately if u actually die, he shall represent the company at yo funeral to tell all how “there’s no better hard working man than this man laying here, why did God take him when he still had unfinished business re-structuring the Finance department…!

I hope Ashy doesn’t be on that stuff of “who do you like” coz if i tried that, it would make the dullest rant av ever attempted, let’s stick to the beefs! Innit Ms Drama?????