Some jobs are just too cool, how the hell do people get them? Watching documentary channels brings out stuff I never knew existed, and wish I could be, to hell with this nonsense of waking up at 7 am and wearing company ID’s…the real stuff reads like this:
Provocateur;
A punk who pisses people off, just for the heck of it! A notable chap is Larry Flynt, an American bugger that used to publish pornography and make it hard corer when chaps complained. He has been sued about 40 times for indecent exposures by his magazines and even made a best selling movie “the people vs Larry Flynt” about these court escapades. That beats accounting or marketing on any given day!
Analyst;
These come in many forms, and their sole job is to appear on television and discuss nonsense they think they bloody know. “Sports analysts”, some of whom name their kids after European club stadia and their soccer hero bastards talk so much nonsensical shit you wish you could have their jobs. The buggers start “analyzing” how the first half went, as if we didn’t watch the damn match ourselves “I think the manager made a terrible mistake making that substitute, he was controlling the midfield area all by himself….” and yet if things had gone the other way round, the “soccer pundit” would have been like “that decision to substitute that player was a very tactical move by the manager, this is what places him apart from the rest…” Bitch, any lumpen can say that! “Political” analysts don’t even deserve to waste ink / typing stuff, it’s not really ink on the keyboard now is it?
Historian;
Just like their analyst brothers, these buggers are called in to give opinions on what has already happened. “Based on events of 1955, we are seeing a repeat of history…”, and so??
Weather men;
And women: These guys stand in front of maps and PowerPoint presentations and start playing God! “Fellaz, looky here, there’s goin to be rain and thunderstorms, but in a few selected places, can’t really be sure which, but trust, someone’s getting wet today. In other parts as u can see these moving clouds, temperatures shall rise to about 25 degrees Celcius, that’s Celcius, not Farenheit, so go figure!
Political / Power Brokers;
These are the guys that support the ruling government. Their job is to sit at strategic offices and wait for foreigners looking for permits, land or Presidential favors. They “connect” you to the big guy for a “fee” then lay back and buy us pints and praise the ruling government. This class of chaps is responsible for the Global Corruption index that favors African governments.
Philanthropists;
No, not Micheal “bullshit” Ezra and his antics. Issuing bouncing cheques to charitable causes does not count. To get this job, one must be a real dime person with real estate and spare change in authentic dollars. This dime is strictly not for display to journalists in a hidden hotel but for actually giving out to real causes like malaria eradication and TB prevention. Wish I could have this.
But in the meantime, away from the dream jobs, its back to the usual nonsense…………..yearly appraisal crap!!
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