The interview panel!!

The scene is an air conditioned office……but the bloody air con ain’t working, so we, yes we, the panel, are sweating like goats being led to a slaughter house. You, the audience, are busy wondering what the panel is for, but wonder no more, coz we are interviewers! The subject going to walk in thru that door has been haharing reading all sorts of crap, sijui “don’t show up too late for the interview”, “carry a copy of yo Cv just in case”, “be smart, but not too smart”……while we, the panel, were downing pints like Owen falls dam downs water!

As we are chilling, we are handed some papers to “guide us” with the process, and I feel sorry for this ka job seeker, nga he is going to haha! So, here is how it went, never mind the chap wanted to be a pump attendant, this “guideline” was to be strictly adhered to, so here goes;

1 – Little punk, tell us about yourself;

Well, am Darius, am from Kanungu, Rushengye village Runahaka parish (ah heck, that’s what I rememba, they probably aren’t like that) . I obtained a certificate in Uganda Certificate of Education and a driving permit. I am a quick thinker and take keen in learning.

2 – Alright bugger, what is your greatest strength?

You mean like carrying things?

No punk, where do you work best?

Haaaaa, I don’t think I understand that one.

3 – Fine, slow chap, What are your 3 most important career accomplishments?

As a driver, I used to overtake all the cars on the road. Then also, I used to get my boss there on time….but that’s all.

4 – Ok, why would you like to work for us?

Anyway I lost the other driver job. The boss took the car and got accident, so now I have no work so that's why I want to work for you…..

5 – What is your opinion about our organization?

They told me that you have some jobs.

6 – What personal non-job related goals have you set for yourself?

Ok I want to be rich, like Jim Muhwwezi of Kanungu, but you see I have to start slowly.

7 – Is there anything you like to tell us about yourself that we may have overlooked?

Anti you know I don’t steal. I cannot cheat customers, that one you didn’t know.

8 – Do you have any question about the position?

Can I work only at night?

9 – What are the things that motivate you most?

If the salary is good!

10 – Finally, little punk, how do you feel about your career progress so far?

Ok I can drive, so so far its so good. But if you give me this job, I will be happy.

Well, am still considering the lump, at least he’s honest!