The Weed Smoker's Movement!!

We can’t run away from it, yep, we “aethists” too. There is a spiritual side to life, coz there’s this stuff we just don’t understand, and aren’t supposed to, its called faith.

Trailblazers of the early age took it upon themselves to create “religion”, a state of mind where we believe in whatever we are told. Christians, muslims, Jesuits, Hindus, name it, all came up with their own thinking, although these are loosely based on a savior chap that showed up from the heavens. The hardest “faith” however has to be “rastafari”!

Most people however have misunderstood the entire concept, and are out to ruin it, most especially idiots like Bobi Swine and his motley crew of jejune hangers on! These immature bastards think smoking weed and wearing dreadlocks makes them “rastas”, they need a shot of “reality” slithered into their drunken veins. So here is the real “rasta” faith!

First off, its not called “rastafarism”, coz it’s not a religion, but a way of life, a movement (not Ofwono Opondo’s crap though), an ideology! The term Rastafari is taken from Ras Tafari, the title of Haile Selassie 1, whom the proponets of this movement thought was the son of God (Jah) re-incarnated. See they prophesied that a son of the big one would show up on our wretched premises in the original birthplace of mankind referred to as Zion, also known as Africa.

Ras is Ahmaric (Ethiopian language) for Head or King. Haile Selasie was named “Tafari”, which is Ahmaric for a King’s name, as if Pope John Paul or Pope Benedict, a pre-regnal given name to Ethiopian Kings. This chap was crowned at the exact same time the Rasta’s believed a King was returning to earth, hence Rastafarians, the chaps that believe in Ras Tafari.

The Rastafaris do not believe in the morally corrupt western ways of doing shit, a term referred to as “Babylon”, ways of the world. Ok, they smoke a few leaves here and there but that’s only because nature gave us these. In a few words of Katt Williams, weed is good shit! It’s just a plant, it comes out of the earth on its own. However, aspirin is a concoction of deadly chemicals. U swallow 20 of them, and that will sure be yo last headache! Pop Idol winner Fantasia tried this shit last week and is now apologizing to her fans “al be a better person, no more suicide attempts”.

But with weed, u just get happy, hungry and sleepy! Why it’s illegal and asprin isn’t…….

Rastas also believe that Jah, in the form of the Holy Spirit, lives in us humans., and it is for this reason that they refer to themselves as “I and I”, actually “I” is used instead of “we” and is used to identify the equality amongst all people.

Generally rastas assert that their own bodies are true temples of the holy spirit so theres no need to build churches and stuff. However, why they douse their temples with grass fumes still beats the oblongata.

Patois, a Jamaican form of speak, is misused as rastafari language. There is no rastafari language, just that the chaps that invented it (Rastafarians) happen to live in Jamaica, whose “English” is known as patois, and some of their words are;

“a go” going to: e.g me a go tell him!

“bashment”: a party, dance session

“battybwoy”: a gay chap

“bumbaclut”: The heaviest curse word.

“big tings a gwan”: good shit is goin on.

“cease and sekkle”: Stop everya’ting and relax.

“evryating crisp”: All’s well.

“wa’ gwan star”: What’s happening my friend.

“mi a fi”: I am goin to.

“horn”: to cheat on yo loved one.

“hornin”: Commit adultery.

“hot stepper”: fugitive from jail.

“i-rey”: excellent, cool.

“pun”: with

So next time you hear those pretenders from “fire in the base crew” posing on you mbu they are rastas, just know that they are saying some bullshit like:

“wag wan star, mi a fi go hornin pun Martha evryating crisp butty bway…” Just know he aint making sense.

One love….and big ups from jah!