Nation of Whiners

Whiners: A bunch of cowards who bitch about anything and everything and never have anything good to say. aka. those who need to f*ck off!

I don’t fall in this category (although Budo fellas and corporate chaps would beg to differ), I know I was sent to piss the world off, a rebel without a cause, so that ain’t whining.

Well, that’s my excuse…….

However, I would like to welcome you to this “corporate talk”, my name is Professor Sanders, Esquire, MBA and some other letters of the alphabet put together after you spell my name. I came up with this ingenious seminar way to make money…..no no no, please ignore that, I did come up with this ingenious way to help my sales and marketing brothers n sisters trying to break out into that market, but do not know how to deal with clients/whiners…...and these spreading fast to all industries, like a Socially Transmitted Disease (still STD). Unfortunately, washing your hands won’t stop this plague, and we have not found a vaccine or a condom for it, so let’s try these measures.

Hey, you sleepy fella in the corner, get up, what am going to say is important, senchu.

Anywho, there are 4 ways to deal with these kind of torturous evil maniacs, and this is really goin’ to help if you are a receptionist or a call center attendant, always having to deal with one whiny complaint after another;

1 – Ignore it. (But just pray the whiner doesn’t play golf with yo company CEO). Pass it by like chewed Orbit. Whining needs attention to stay alive, ignoring the bastard equates to smothering the idea of a problem, let him/her look for someone else to dump their problems on. You be in a call center working for a utility company, and the guy is calling asking to speak to a woman’s voice……or else! Now you wonder what the hell that has to do with having no electricity in your area!

2 – Listen and guide. Usually you will want this jerk off out of your hair, or is it ear, as soon as he begins yapping that “problem” stuff. However as an employee, you shall be bribed at the end of every month with some little dimes to listen to the whiners, salary they call it, they will even give you “bonus” dimes for a call well received. Direct this whiner’s problem to something else, coz his wife may have pissed him off and he needs to offload his shit on you. So if he beez complaining of how high airtime costs are, remind him of how high fuel is, heck, even prostitutes recently passed a decree through the “underground prostitutes and whore’s movement” announcing a 10% hike in all activities! (for some weird reason, I know this)

3 – Dramatise events. Exaggerate the state of the problems, e.g

Caller: Hullo, is this (company name removed just in case some bored lawyer wants jobo)

Respondent: Yes it is, my name is Rita how may may I help?

Caller: You thieving bastards!!!! I have just loaded airtime and now it’s over, am going to move to another company, you think we are stupid, we know you monopolies……….

Respondent: By the way, even me the other day my airtime just burst like that…..kati, what do you think we should do to this company?

Caller: Huh, ok, let me call you back!

4 – Say stupid stuff.

Caller: You stupid guys, I give you all my money and you treat me like this???!!!!

Respondent: Erm, do you serve chips with that?

Now that you have seen the various ways to deal with these pests, I do sincerely hope you shall be named employee of the month when those “employee evaluation” reports on “customer care” return!

Goodluck employees!

And on a whining note, whatever the hell happened to my favorite peoples, Ms D, Ashy and Zsamm.......in a chick's words.....SOME CHUCKING!!!