These security measures are pissing me the f* off! Do we look like we can actually blow ourselves up? Jesus ain’t that cool to die for godamit! Just imagine the Cardinal calling u up at Rubaga Cathedral or some other shitty place and goin…..
“Son, u have been chosen for this mission to carry out our Lord’s work. Now, u will strap this stuff on, head to that crowded place…yep, full of those muslim criminals…then u will click this little button thingy, and St Peter shall be awaiting you with open arms!”
“Ait father, ait, am with you on this one, to hell with those muslim infidels….now let me get you straight, al get onto a bike, then proceed to the mall, but then, where do I meet u guys after blowing this stuff up?”
“Son, u don’t understand, we need u to get right at the center of the crowd, then blow the damn thing!”
“That’s fine, so when exactly do we meet after this stuff….Tuesday, Thursday…”
“U idiot, u blow yourself up too”
“Ey man, ey dawg men, I aint gon do it man…shit I gat kids and everything, a new girlfriend and all, heck, I just bought these new shoes man….am down with that boy Jesus but I aint down like that….peace out homes!”
Am pretty sure we would all reply like this (except that Fr Sempa character, anything for the news right?) so why the hassle!? Born again chaps are issuing id’s to their “members” so as to avoid a blast. If I wanted to blow up these excuses of holy people, I would just infiltrate their “cells” as they call them, sing that kumbaya shit till my voice gets sore, become a lead pastor, then one day walk in with my C4 strapped to my shoulders and send these noisy freaks to wherever the hell they believe they are going! Id’s my foot!!
In this same vein, LC’s everywhere have become the most powerful chaps alive, registering “members” of the residential areas. Even companies have become serious. There is this gas station where we were gathering data of employees, being a “hot target” and all, but the staff file made me forget about the security measures, coz these application letters were too killer, who am I not to share;
Dear Sir / Madam;
Re: Application for a vaccancy.
I submit my application to you applying to be employed by you. I am 22 years old. At all times, I shall be royal to my superiors and social to my counterparts. I will be happy when I receive a positive reply.
Ronald
Dear Sir
Re: Application.
Sir, I have looked for a job everywhere in vain, that’s why I have tried you. As in education, I failed to finish A level but I have an o level, and all that was due to financial problems. I have knowledge, trust and integrity and wish you employ me.
Jack
Dear Sir,
Application
I hereby write this application to your company. I am a Ugandan aged 21 and female by sex. I finished 3 levels of studies, that is to say, PLE, UCE and UACE from different schools as can be seen on attached copies next page.
Hoping for a good consideration.
Molly
As I type this shit, it’s 4.18 in the pm, and am chillin in Iguana, thank God they have no tv’s else I would be subjected to that torture known as Big Brother. But the laptop got a full metal scan at the entrance, the guy almost removed the typing keys, just to be sure it was a laptop! The shit we are going through!
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