“Ouch!!!!” I scram, as my tooth burnt like a spike in a muchomo stove! I knew I hadn’t been to a dentist in like…..well, ever! The thought of dragging my ass voluntarily to a torture chamber with no motivation whatsoever never crossed my mind, but now, here was the motivation.
I immediately set off for the Kisimenti area, I knew I had seen many Dental signposts along this road while strolling to Iguana and Just Kicking. I always wondered how these guys pay rent, I mean, who gets teeth problems right?...Wrong!!
As I wondered around the area, I passed all the torture chambers until I saw it, just there inviting me to walk in, “Dentals: Traditional and Herbal healing”, I knew I was in luck. All I wanted was some Chinese leaves that the dentist would tell me to munch on for about 3 times a day for a week and my issues would be blown away like a freakin suicide bomber!
I immediately turn in, only to be welcomed by this Chinese / Korean receptionist “herro, werr-come to dental crinic, how may I herrp?!!”
“Well, I gots this tooth buggin me, can u check it out and tell me how the herbs are going to work?”
“No no no, u make mistake, mister. Herbal medicine for massage onrry…….. tooth ploblem, u see doctor, in here!”
Now am led to the torture chamber where the Doctor beez chillin. “Morning Sir, what seems to be the problem?”
“Just check me out”
Then the worst, the dental chair! “Have a sit” he says as he adjusts the huge light bulb above.
“God, if you are really there, sori for the shit I did, just don’t over do it”, my mind kept saying.
“Open mouse!” screamed the assistant! I did!
“Oh my goodness, this is bad, very bad, u need to get this shit worked on IMMEDIATELY!!!” And I thought Dentists never did marketing! “60,000 for the regular clean and…….. oh 2 teeth is completely gone, 80,000 for filling…….each!!” “Oh wait a minute, there’s 2 more dead ones, u need to fix all this”
“But I have no pain anywhere else”
“Sir, if you know what’s good for you, you will take the procedure”
“Ah what the heck, let me first go get money for at least 1 fill up, then the rest will come if they ever hurt…..or as I get the dimes”
Off I went to the nearest bank, I don’t take their adverts lightly. “Mornin miss loan officer, I would like to sign up for a “dental” loan, shit if you can have a “wedding” loan, you must have “foot massage” loans too, what da ya say?”
“Sir, u are looking for either a co-operative society or a microfinance,this is a bank, sorry, u are in the wrong place”
So I went to borrow dimes anyway, from some rich guys who don’t mind that interest crap, coz this dentist had scared me senseless! Finally, dimes borrowed, back to the torture chamber to have the dentist make a volcanic mountain erupt in my mouth and the molten lava burn the crap outta my brains.
“Open mouse!!!” Assistant immediately ordered!
This is when I knew why carpenters borrow tools from dentists. I saw a damn toolbox with nails and shit! However, to my relief, the guy unlash some sophisticated machinery and proceeded to do the damn thing! Shockingly, there was virtually no pain, as this guy kept finding his way around, and the usual “open mouse wide!!” interruptions!
“We’re done here, however, you need to pass by every month for regular checks!”
Shit, yet another monthly bill!!
Well, al give it to the chaps, they do have ballistic machinery, I sure won’t call it a torture chamber next time round! And I can now eat hard corns again! Out!!
2 comments:
Thought you had planned to "stop" whining?
hehehe...sori about your tooth - i sooo feel you good thing you got a nice dentist
enjoy yo weekend and go easy on the candy
That was really ballistic torture chambers occurring there. And is may be occur that carpenters borrow tools from dentists.
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