It is now a fact that self help books are the highest selling genre of books in stores worldwide! Heck, even Aristoc booklex added 2 shelves at the self help section, plus anatha of religion, coz guys be snapping up these books like a problem. Apparently it looks like people’s problems are on the rise, but what exactly do we learn from these books?
Our research team was dispatched to Aristoc to see exactly whats in these books, and these were the findings from these books, with our interpretations;
1- Follow your dreams – We all have dreams, like slapping our bosses every morning they step in the office and ask for those strategy reports, that you didn’t do of course, because u had to attend that kasiki till 3am! Oh, theres also that dream where u undressed the secretary, not the secretary of state, but that chick that sits in the MD’s office, somehow they are always ballistic!
If we were going to follow these dreams, we would be messed!!
2- Believe in yourself – What the hell else do we believe in? I guess when these guys wrote these books, they thought we believed we were other people! So if u always wake up every morning and the first thing in yo head is “I am Obama’s cousin”, then u need to buy these books, so that u start believing stuff like “I am myself!!”
3- Set yourself a goal – Go to a soccer pitch and steal one, if u simply cant make it yourself!
4- What drives you? – The books say you have to find something that drives u! So what u are looking for is an engine and a steering wheel, so u can be driven! We prefer to drive, not be driven!
5- U are better than the rest – The book will go ahead to convince you that u are superior to the rest, and if u set yourself to achieve something, u will get it, never mind u have no rent, no dimes for pints, and heck, u cant even take that chick for a movie, but what the hell, u are better than those chaps that do the above, at least according to the book!
So we figured, people simply like to be assured they are not as miserable as they really are, so they will buy these books to convince themselves just that. It has been said before, that the only people who benefit from self-help books are the authors, what with the seminars they will be invited to, and the book sales of course!
The best book we picked out however was aptly named “chicken shit for the soul” , u can google it, if u think am just lying those of lies!! It sold a lot, it even got a part 2 installment! So before u do anything silly, consider these sayings;
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!”
“Don’t put off till tomorrow…..what u can avoid doing altogether!”
1 comment:
Village has a BIG problem with cockroaches in the streets and at least a million or two in every other household.
Guy comes along with small packets which he swears inside can be found the answer to the cockroach menace. Inside each packet is two stones and a book of instructions [Self-help book.]
The packets sell like wetlands in an auction attended by Internal security ministers. Guy vanishes soon after his stock runs out.
Dumb idiot villagers reach home, tear open their packets and read the booklets. Instructions given therein are simple, precise and to the point.
'To eliminate cockroaches, take one cockroach, put it on one stone and hit it with the other stone. It is guaranteed to die immediately.'
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