Studies have shown that.......

Opinion polls are weird stuffs. Practically everything on earth has been “studied”. Imagine this;

“A French magazine which conducted a poll discovered that French men admitted to sleeping with 11.2 women whereas French women admitted to sleeping with 1.8 men”. I bet they were like “Sir, sorry to bother you, I know u are a stock market trader but could u give us a minute of your time and count for us how many women u have slept with? This information is very vital for the survival of humanity!” “Ah, I have slept with 11.2 women?” “Excuse me, point 2?” “Yea, she was mutilated in several areas” “Er, thank you sir for you time!”

“A study showed the IQ range is wider among men than women. In other words scientists believe that the smartest men are smarter than the smartest women but the stupidest men are stupider!” That is very true, coz I have also failed to understand that theory, am among the stupid ones “I s’pose!”

“A survey in New York revealed that the average Manhattan wife takes 14 minutes to switch off the light after going to bed”. I bet this scientist was like “Er Josh, what should we do today?” “I finished all these DNA structure studies and have discovered that molecules and photons are catholic, because they have mass! Now, lets go figure out how long it takes the average Manhattan woman to switch off her lights after going to bed” “And how exactly shall we do that?” “I got the binoculars baby, yyeeaahh!”

“Gold fish remember better in cold water than in warm water”. I bet the idiot that came up with this would show the gold fish 3 bananas, then puts it in cold water, then when he retrieved it, it would yell out “three bananas!”. It would then be put in a jar of warm water and on retrieval, would yell “Read my lips,No more Bush” .

“Crickets hear through their knees”. I bet this is how they found out;
Jack Bauer: “First am going to shoot your left knee, then a scrap off the skin on your right knee cap, till u give me the information!”
Cricket: “Am sori, but if u shoot my knees I wont be able to hear your questions!”
Jack Bauer: “Oh, so u hear through yo knees, Chloe, did u get that? Send that information down to the labs at CTU and verify if what this terrorist says is true, if it is, let the scientists publish it!”

According to a study in California in 1966, pigs are the only mammals other than humans that are capable of getting sunburned. “Alright porky, am heading down to the beach for an hour or so, do u have that sun cream?” “Am right on it, four legs good, sun cream good!”

“Bulls don’t see red – they are color blind”. Here’s how they knew this.
“Mooooooooooooooo”
“Pegy, why are u so upset?”
“The grass here is yellow, I only eat green grass”
“Peggy dear, all grass is the same”
“Really, but I thought…”
“No dear, we are color blind, at least that’s what I told the researcher!”

“Snails mate once in a lifetime, but it lasts for up to 12 hours”. “Joe, u have been up all nite” “Ya, am still watching the snails”

Here's a few other weirdos!

“Zebras have white stripes – not black ones”

“The hundred years war lasted 114 years”

“The bible does not mention Eve eating an apple, nor Jonah being swallowed by a whale”