Wisdom Tooth!

A normal human chap has 32 teeth, well, with the exception of Tiger Woods, P Diddy and AY, the TZ musician, well these chaps have like 54 teeth, and there’s picture evidence to prove these baseless allegations!

Anywho, personally, I have 32, am not really sure, but that’s what the dentist said when I went to see the chap last week! By the time u ever go to a dentist, u must either be self conscious of yo-wa presentation aka grooming, or u will be in such big pain that u shall be like “ok fuck it, al go see the torturer now!” Yes Maggie, u are right, I belong to the pain group!

Recent studies, well, even if it weren’t recent, I would still type recent, what do I care, AM IN PAIN GODAMITT!!! Sori there, but I was thinking of the dentist, hence the rage!

Ok, studies have shown that dentists are the most feared people in life, followed by George Bush, both of them, then Joseph Kony, then Ugandan Ministers, then MP’s, then murderers, then defilers, then robbers, then Spanish soaps and then finally tele-tubbies! So by the time u drag yo ass to the dentist, or rather yo mouth, then u must really have no choice, the pain is the gun and it’s pointing at u!

Back to the story, u see I had my 33rd tooth growing at the back of the last tooth, aka molar! So first I sprinkled salt, to just wish away the inevitable. When I got inklings of pain to indicate a problem, I just did what a normal dentist-phobic chap would do, drink pints so I could sleep fast, plus some salt! But like at 3am, I was up, with a strange pounding at the back of the mouth! It’s like my heart had shifted, and not just shifting, it had been moved by AGS worldwide movers, with the help of DHL, UPS and any other three lettered pumpkins that move things, coz this pounding was like it was for sending blood to the rest of the body, and the aorta and veins were lodged next to my ear!

A full kilogram of salt lodged to the painful area didn’t help much, and so were the 20 tablets of aspirin added to the salt, tooth no. 33 was really pissed with me for some reason, maybe becoz I used the toothpick to remove the food I was teasing it with 3 times a day!

I went straight to the first dentist I met coz this pounding was more irritating than a Celine Dion song, just think of it like that song of hers that goes “I drove all niiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhtttttt!!!” I was pounded all niiiiiiiggghhhttt! (Its for this reason that I suggest Capital FM be used to kill death row inmates, since using spears is a bit archaic!!)

Dr Pain told me I had a wisdom tooth! I said “What?? Just because I came to see u doesn’t mean am any wiser! Matter of fact, I still believe the pot holes are still many, and that’s what I thought yesterday, so what’s this wisdom business?”

The wisdom story caught me off guard, coz whenever I hear that word, am reminded of King Solomon, that guy that used to talk to God, am sure they were on Warid to Warid, coz they had many conversations, I believe it was something like;

King S: Yo Gad, wadduupppp!!! Its Solo down here, whats happening?

God: Sup Bro, I hear u had some baby mamas down there fighting for a kid? Did the price of pampers and SMA gold go down or wat?

King S: Nah man, whoever wins gets child support! But no worries I sorted it all out, just used my wisdom and told em to cut the kid in 2, and one mom was dying to, so I knew she was just scamming for free rent and shit! But its all cool, gotta go now, my minute is getting over, peace out bro!!

These days however, our leaders don’t have wisdom, they amended it to Vision, ya, and only 1 chap has the rights to it at a given go!!

This bloody story keeps taking corners, yet it was about a bloody tooth! Anywho, the Doctor chap proceeded to use needles and other gadgets I last saw in 24, when Jack Bauer was having a normal conversation with Demitri Gridenko, that Russian terrorist!! This dental clinic should be called CTU!!

The rest of the story shall be told when am sure the dentist wont give me crazy pills, so no annoying him for now!