Makerere University is dead!

Makerere University is dead, but we like to watch the corpse decompose!! Heres why;

Since all our TV stations have proved to be a bunch of crap, we have been forced to look for entertainment elsewhere, we may be catching up with the white chaps, by preferring live TV to crappy Spanish soaps that are being forced down our throats.

Luckily enough, we have found one, ladies and gents, Live TV introduces an all new show, season premier started about 8 years back, but it has recently become very entertaining, so we present to you ……Makerere University!

Episode 1: Kenyan students go on strike:
It’s a breezy morning on the campus, and Barrack Obama has just won the election, CNN is covered in Kenyan flag colors, but the camera switches to chaotic scenes outside the University’s main block, we see Kenyan flags alright, and chaotic scenes! The viewer thinks it’s the celebration of Obama’s win, but they are dead wrong! The Kenyan students are on strike!! A quick thought jumps to the head, why would they be on strike? We know the administrators of this uni are so crappy, but we just cant believe the lengths they go to, are they giving the kenyans worse beans than the locals? Are they getting lower marks? Maybe all the mosquitos on campus have been given strict orders to only give malaria to the Kenyans, something like;
“Blue 6, come in, this is red hat 10, confirm location” “Red hat red hat, this is Blue 6, I have the malaria virus with me here, looking for target, please confirm” “Blue six, go sting the third guy from the left, he’s Kenyan” “Roger that, copy that, out is out, malaria parasite deposited, mission accomplished, Kenyan down, I repeat Kenyan down” “Thank you anopheles, sori, I mean blue six, over”
It turns out however that tuition fees for all foreign students had been hiked without notice, we are still waiting on the Tanzanians and Sudanese to strike as well!

Episode 2: Dean of finance gives daughter office:
This was the funniest episode, now this chap, who was the head of LDC was promoted to some other stuff we are not really bothered with spelling out, so he gets a bigger office at the main block. Ordinarily, he would hand over the LDC office to the successor, but no, not this chap. He instead gives the office to his daughter to revise her books, a factor that prepicitated………no, precitipate…….that just cant be right, PRECIPITADED, ah yes, that’s it!! A factor that precipitaded the administration to knock down the door and switch the locks!

Episode 3: 2 billion shilling wall downed by a drizzle:
It was supposed to be “the great wall of campus”, having cost a staggering 2 billion shillings. We were told this would be the eighth wonder of the world, and if u went to the moon u would see it! However, during a slight drizzle, that little annoying downpour that leaves u thinking “should I use the umbrella or not”, and the “great wall had a great fall”. Lets rhyme for these chaps a bit;
Humpty dumpty shat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had built the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
Humpty Dumpty was on the damn wall!

Episode 4: Transcript – Now u see me, now you don’t!
When one graduates, one normally gets a transcript like on…er, graduation day. Here’s the campus scenario;
“Sir, fill in those forms and return after a month”

“Sir, u are saying u filled in the forms a month ago, but we cant see them”

“Sir, we don’t seem to find your results, are you sure u studied here?”

“Sir, the person with your transcript went for further studies in South Africa, please return after 2 years”

“Sir, just leave us alone, we don’t have your bloody transcript!”