Education is a part of the rat race! Most people think that the endless quest for money is all it is, money! But there are other things we live for, like the constant pursuit to broaden our knowledge, the curiosity to know more, which explains why Ashy is a perpetual student!
This factor also explains why an 87 year old man enrolled in a primary school somewhere in Kibaki land before he finally succumbed to that process no one is immune to – death! However, he had such a blast while at it, that not only is he still featuring in the guiness book of world records, but he got himself a ki free world tour courtesy of some NGO’s here and there, as long as he wore a primary school uniform while on his travels!
Some so-called LC1 chairperson here at the pearl is attempting to pull off this same stunt, only that he is 37 years old! What’s with the age ending in 7? Personally, I will enrol back to P1, or Standard 1, depending on which country is not having post election violence at that time, when I hit 88!! That way I can get a free world tour, that I have so far failed to save for, no…… that I have failed to afford, plus I shall beat the 87 year old to the guiness book!
The problem however is, how shall I pass those exams? I recently glanced at those exam papers and I figured I would fail them like an African government official on a corruption quiz! Here’s how I think that LC1 punk answered his questions;
Q - What is photosynthesis?
A – A process by which those chaps at megapix take a pic of your raggedy lookin self and remove all pimples and wrinkles and make you look ballistic, as if Halle Berry!
Q – What is BODMAS?
A – A porn movie, something like “Body of Lies” and “Body of Temptation”, but this one has only MASSIVE people!
Q – Why do photons have mass and proteins don’t?
A – Because photons are catholic and proteins are protestant! They have service!
Q – Name 3 components of blood?
A – Some red paint, probably from sadolin, water and salt!
Q – What are red blood cells?
A – It’s a collection of terrorists based in a certain location, like the Berlin al-qaeda cell, they usually like blood. It can also be a nice looking mobile phone that has a red blood colour, a “red blood cell”!
Q – How does a charcoal stove work?
A – I don’t know, I have the LG microwave to warm my food!
Q – Who is the president of Uganda?
A – Are u serious? The answer has been the same since UNEB was formed? Do u really need to know?
Q – Which is Uganda’s newest district?
A – The one with a chap that ate a rat!
Q – Who is the mufti of Uganda?
A – They are 2, which one?
Q – Who is the King of the basoga?
A – They are 2, which one?
Q – How many cents make a shilling?
A – 50 cent!
Q – How many public holidays are in Uganda?
A – Depends on how many times the moon is full, and oh, even when a former president or a king dies!
Q – What is the use of the ears?
A – To tap phone calls for the interior ministry!
Q – What is the use of the skin?
A – To show it off and call yourselves “maisha dancers!”
Q – What is the use of the eyes?
A – To watch out for ghost voters, ghost pupils, ghost soldiers and look for ghost busters!
At this rate, I think that’s a 9 in all papers! This gives me an extra year to improve my record at the guiness book of world records, and probably a trip to space!!
2 comments:
'Mock' much? :-)
please....
i swear i almost fell of my chair laughing...the boss is not sure am a 100%.
by the way the sad thing is that the answers the LCs give would be close to what you gave if they dont get some ghost students to sit for papers for them...
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