Scientists are either busy chaps or are just a bunch of lumpens out there trying to make a dime like the rest of us. Its not often that they used to come up with a new discovery, but these days its everyday.
Listening to the news, there’s always some more crap these “researchers” come up with, and luckily they tell us how.
Last week, these bastards came up with a discovery that people who laugh 15 times a day are more likely to live till 85! Who pays these clowns to do this work? Who exactly will this “finding” help? Some guy used to laugh 18 times a day, but at 42, he got tear gassed in the riots, and didn’t make it to 52, lung complications, this would probably have reduced the “researcher’s” age findings from 85 to like 63!
Here’s some more stuff they “discovered”;
Doctors who listened to the beatle’s song “Staying alive” while performing an operation were more likely to have successful surgeries than those that listened to Celine Dion songs, ANY of them!
Couples who listened to Lionel Richie songs while making out were more likely to have healthier kids than those that were listening to Luther Vandross’!
People who voted for FDC were more likely to be involved in city riots than those who didn’t vote at all, ok that one is forged, because Uganda has no social researchers, only for malaria and AIDS!
Attractive children are more popular, both with classmates and teachers. Teachers give higher evaluations to the work of attractive children and have higher expectations of them (which has been shown to improve performance). So if u ever get ugly kids, don’t waste yo dimes at Kampala Parents!
Drinking 3 beers a day is better than drinking 12 beers on a Friday!! This research was most probably funded jointly by Fat Boyz and Just Kicking.
Loving your family helps reduce stress levels, even that cousin that keeps selling yo electronics so as to buy weed!
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