The Art of Vibing!!

That title was copied from a best selling book called “The Art of War” by Tsan Tsung, or some shit like that. This book is a must read for all military generals, as it shows them various tactics of beating the enemy. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to tell them of how to get out of situations where they are faced with an angry lover, wielding an iron bar, which is normally used as a “carpet cleaner”!

Anywho, chaps have taken vibing to new levels, but something is wrong with the lines chaps are using, coz they just be lying lies!! Just imagine if guys would actually do the shit they say;

1- I will climb Mt Rwenzori for you;

The repercussions of this promise are not exactly simple. First of all, u must be ready to meet real snow! Forget this shit of cotton wool pieces we be sticking on our Christmas trees to represent snow! Africans who have dared go up that mountain came down with severe cases of mumps and pneumonia! Do you even remember what the hell mumps are?? That’s coz they are only caught by trying to climb mountains!

2- I will cross the ocean for you;

Some chick called Monica tried saying this shit in her hit song “For you I will”, she promised that chap so many things, including going to the moon, oba for what!! Now you go to the moon and then what? Maybe you return with some love potions or something. And we be seeing migrants from Africa in bu shanty boats trying to get to Spain or whatever, crossing oceans and stuff, half of them die on these trips, we just hope they were not doing it because they promised their chicks so!

Since this shit will never work, chaps have now resorted to looking for chicks, and vice versa, in newspaper classified ads. Its now common to find shit like;

25 year old male looking for white woman! Must be financially stable and ready to take me out of Africa!

Wonder whether these punks ever get replies. At least they ask for real stuff!

The ol school way was the hardest shit, chaps used to write letters that just blew chicks away, and no promises, real vibes, something like;

“My sweet potatoe Maggy,

Whenever I think of you, my heart beats perpendicular to the way this pen is dancing on this love note! You are the Executive Prime Minister of my heart, as if Raila Odinga or Morgan Tsvangirai. I love you more than cabbages! When I see you, my sight is better than those who eat carrots! The atmosphere here is missing your weather friendly smile, cant wait to see you again, so my soul can blossom like that rose I have sent with this letter!!”

Read
Rewind
Relax
Reply;

Mic Mac it to;

Sweet Pie Magie

Zoom it to;
S 2 B

Expedite it to;
Nabisunsa Girls School.

Now what chick wouldn’t fall for that!!