A Blast from the Past!!

Too much drama goin on around here….first, the most respected bachelor, a one Olara Otunnu, gets elected UPC head fellow, they like to call him UPC President, that way, he can at least hear himself be called President a couple of times before he eventually is re-called by the mighty one, aka Jesus’ dad.

If this chap ever gets to be the Prez of Uganda, we might end up signing special agreements, of course well-thought out plans by the Attorney Generals of the respective countries, and we’re talking bout South Africa and Swaziland. These pacts shall be referred to as “the bi-lateral bailout of a fellow prez – with a ballistic chick”.

It has never happened, in the History of Africa, for a sitting President to be without a wife, or better yet, a sitting Prez without “wives, concubines and hot campus chicks, to be delivered at the press of a phone button”. This “pact”, shall entail that whenever Uganda hosts a meeting, in order for the first ladies not to be bored, Jacob Zuma shall facebook Otunnu with a recent upload of pics of his chicks, so he can pick whomsomever he wants to be “acting first lady” for the duration of the meet. No, you just can’t pick anyone to act as first lady, they must be it! So that chick that was on African Woman won’t do.

Otunnu has meanwhile kicked off his “campaign” in usual African style, asking for an inquiry into the Luwero massacres of 1885……,okay it was the 80’s, but the 1980’s. But we are now in the second decade of the 2 thousands, and these punks are taking us way back, when it was still cool to use “EMS”, the fast delivery service of mail, that used to cost us a fortune. Now we have blackberries and stuff, can chat to chicks on “hot mamas dot com” here in Kla while they sip on margaritas on some islands in Hawaii, and can also do work for some guys in Australia right here in our homes. We want more of this stuff, but no, not these punks, they want to investigate shit of the 1980’s!!

So if the Otunnu’s get to power, ladies and gents, the following things that have been totally nagging you in yo daily goings on shall be solved, so here is why he wants you to vote for him so they call him prez, for real;

• The real guys who killed the “Uganda Martyrs” in the 1800’s shall be tried…..shit, they died already??? What the heck, we’ll get their grand kids! This shall really help in getting you to buy jam everyday, forget that shit of ghee from goat’s milk on yo bread.

• The 1900 Buganda agreement shall be rescinded, and everything shall go back to as it was.

• The 1800 partitioning of Africa shall be looked into, and countries shall be made out into federo states and stuff. All chaps who used to be kings should re-apply for their kingdoms, including the tiny kingdom that used to be in the Ntinda area, yes, u can reclaim yakobo’s pork joint, as it’s king!

• The 1980 elections shall be repeated, so we can actually see who really won it.

• The fires that gutted the Kasubi tombs shall be put out……..BEFORE THEY START GODAMIT!!!

So these old chaps that still live in the past but want to be the future of the country….what about????? How about we move forward? PUNKS!!