State of Affairs!!

Parliamentary Accounts Committee, a place where chaps are questioned and made to look like little children who have failed exams. Take for instance the appearance by the chap that dries himself with dimes after a shower, a one Sam Kuteesa,

MP: So tell me, young man, who authorised you to lease those cars, from a company that you used to own, but sold the shares just before you agreed to the deal?

SK: Chill out man, even the president was there….

MP: That’s not an answer punk…..

SK: I would like the ring leader of this circus to ask this particular MP not to even talk, he is extending Sembabule matters to CHOGM. This bugger called me a CHOGM goon just here here last week in front of the President!!! Can u imagine this shit!! In front of the President…..am here trying to get to heaven and u call me a thief in front of GOD??? Tell him to muzzle his nugget!

Ring leader of the circus: MP, u are out of order. I am therefore putting that MP seated next to you in charge of you, he is to contain you, like a hungry rottweiler that has just spotted a fresh pack of frankfurters! Go on CHOGM goon……sorry, honourable Minister..

SK: Anyway, me it wasn’t me…

Same thing happened when the VP was called up…..”it was the President!”

The circus is however amusing, considering that La Tormentor has failed to live up to it’s billing. The only free drama comes at news time.

The NFA boss, ya, that chap that secretly opened a bank under his bed, without a BOU licence, without the clearance from the Ministry of Finance, and had the audacity to make an opening deposit of 900 million shillings, with no taxes on the bank charges, was finally arrested, but for totally different shit…..he caused the government to lose 3.2 billion shillings, like that’s dime!! It’s still not known whether this includes the 900 million that was western unioned by the wife from the Universal Bank of Under the Bed to some un known destinations.

What the IGG is saying (he’s the chap that’s arresting the bushy fellow – he runs Forestry, he’s got to be bushy) that this Bank Founder entered a deal with some stray chaps, to help re-build some forests, it’s not known how this was going to be done, but general thinking tells us that this money was going to be used to probably buy used Christmas trees, those plastic ones from Game, and populate some forests with a new breed of trees.

Unfortunately, some technocrats, as they call these buggers, said this was no good deal, so it was cancelled!!

Shit!!!

That’s exactly what the guys who had lost the contract wailed, as they went to court.

Just before their lawyer set his left foot in the court premises, he heard a beep on his phone!

He checked it!!

It was the NFA boss!!

He called back!!

He was told to settle out of court, for a reasonable small fee of just 3.2 billion shillings!!

He accepted!!

They probably shared it, coz the IGG wasn’t on their shit of “the learned friends agreed…..” he probably suspected that the 900 million that was used to set up the “Universal Bank of under the bed” was maybe a kick back from this dime. These chaps didn’t even have the heart to spare some of this loot for “Sanyu Babies home” or the “Cancer ward”, they just chewed the dimes.

Which is why he is in prison, as we speak…..no, as we type!

But sadly, as the days rode by, some idiots went and burnt up the Kasubi tombs, like they had no other shit to do. Well, humans will stop at nothing to get whatever they want. Some guys, pissed off probably with the government, will do anything to cause trouble, like burn up a 125 year old structure. Why don’t they just burn up the billboards at the airstrip? They are like 2 years old, and make no freakin sense!

Out is out.