It’s an early Saturday morning, taxi touts are wailing their voices hoarse as they call out for chaps right outside yo house (instead of just going for a kasiki – if the objective is to lose the voice), the room looks hazy (effects of the kasiki), then a bang on the door;
That shit of saying “who is it?” ended in the 90’s, these days we just open the door. Some ruggedy-looking character stares at you, expecting that you know him and his purpose;
“Goodmorning Sir, I am from blah blah blah ministries, could I take just 5 minutes of yo time?”
“What is this shit about?”
“Did you know that Jesus loves you?”
“Where the fuck is that guy? How did you get his number? Why didn’t he just call me to say so?”
“Oh, you know we have met so many of your kind, doubting Thomases, but we keep the faith, one day you shall accept him, Timothy chapte……..”
“Cut, cut, cut, cut that bullshit! Look, my neighbour may stand yo shit, but am not going to let you lecture me on your stuffs, I gotta headache, and I love the satan chap that made me blast all night, come back anatha time!”
“Ok, just keep these books atleast”
Then the chap leaves 2 books called “Watchtower” and “Awake”, y’all must have seen these nicely coloured little pamphlets, must cost a heavy dime. Then the articles just confuse the mind, the one I have now (latest edition, perks disadvantages of living next to the road, ah heck, these bastards will find you anywhere) has the following;
When was Jesus born; Was he really born in December? Does it really matter? Now this was some interesting shit! Finally someone believes Christmas was invented by Uchumi supermarket, so they hit their yearly targets in a month, so I attempted to read this stuffs, and it went thus;
“THE exact date of Christ’s birth is not known,” says the Encyclopedia of Early Christianity.” These guys went ahead to bash chaps for celebrating the day that was apparently forged, and they even add that God him-u-selef told chaps not to watste time on this birthday stuff.
This leaves me TOTALLY confused! Chaps are walking door to door telling guys “oh shit, sorry, but what the first white guys told you is some bullshit, this is the real deal.
The biggest hard hitting one in the latest edition, is the article that says “being born-again is total bullshit” am pretty much sure these guys have a website with the same stuff, so all ye folks that think am on the usual 7th day absenteest stuff, you are wrong.
As a chap that hates competition, am getting really pissed with these jehovah buggers, ruining the flow of anti-establishment, coz when u are many (anti-christmas chaps), the whole thing becomes stale, so now I have to end that shit, and pick on someone else, to hell with those chaps, NEVER open for them your doors!
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