Saddam Hussein's notorious cousin Ali Hassan al-Majid, known as Chemical Ali, was convicted on Sunday in Baghdad, Iraq, and sentenced to hang for ordering the 1988 attacks against the Kurdish town of Halabja that killed more than 5,000 people in clouds of poisonous gas. It was the fourth death sentence for al-Majid.
Ali Hassan had on an earlier judgement received five death sentences for genocide, crimes against humanity (specifically wilful killing and extermination), and war crimes (intentionally directing attacks against a civilian population). He was also sentenced to multiple prison terms ranging from seven years to life for other inhumane acts.
Now how on earth are these guys going to pull this off? Let’s see. The first conviction said he should be hang, then the second involved gassing his ass to oblivion, the third probably a firing squad, the fourth, well, maybe starve him to death. This bugger has been sentenced so many times to death, there is no chance of a presidential pardon, even if it would help the prez get a third term.
This is how I think it will go down;
First, they are going to drag him downtown to where Sadam was hanged, then hang him up high and kick off the stool on which he shall be standing, causing him to freefall and snap his neck like a twig off a Christmas tree, yeah, those we used to snap off to brush our teeth while vacationing at Mt Muhavura.
After this, some witch doctors shall be called to resurrect his ass back to life, “cause we ain’t done with the villain yet”, then he shall be shot to death, to fulfil the wishes of the second court that sentenced him.
Before he can say the words “allah akubar”, his soul shall be caught by some mosquito nets they shall have set up right above the execution guillotine, and he shall be returned to life, coz he still has "2 more death sentences to serve godmmit". His frail self shall then be dragged to the electric chair, where he shall serve his fourth death sentence, but they wont really let him go this time, coz the last sentence has to be served too. But that’s the tricky part, coz in the midst of all this, he also has multiple prison terms of 7 years to life!
How do judges do this shit? They are supposed to be so called learned fellows but the shit they sometimes pull off exposes their stupid side. Like the chap they sentenced to 4 life times in jail! Who thinks of this shit? Do they know “you only live once?”
According to legal brains (that’s how the buggers pose on us) I asked a few questions, a life sentence is 25 years in jail with butt-hungry homo-sapiens, also called butty boys! We don’t know if that applies here in Ug. It seems these sentences used to be carried out in the days when chaps like Abraham used to live till 900 years, but are still considered precedent in today’s cases.
Imagine if African presidents used to rule in the days of Abraham when u live till 900, removing term limits would be for every day, 5 million bucks every 4 years to amend the constitution, and Chemical Ali would have some relief that atleast he would be out, probably at 750 years old.
This is why I fear judges, and their ridiculous bullshit!
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