The interview

Paul had finally gotten that phone call inviting him for an interview at a certain company in uptown Kampala. He used to buy New Vision every Monday, and Monitor every Wednesday to get the job hook up. “8 pages of great jobs inside”, the adverts on poles would call out to him. So with spare change of 1k bucks, he would procure himself a paper, hoping it would have that life changing advert, that Joyce Mayer, Creflo Dollar and that other chap, whats his name, ahh, Benny Hinn I reckon, had all failed to provide, despite all the dimes and prayers Paul had been sending them!

The adverts turn out to be a bunch of crap, coz the ad of HITS wants “structural engineers”, the other 7 pages are for “Katakwi District Commission”, who the hell wants to go to BORING Katakwi??????

The SOS immediately goes out to all the relatives, a big man in government, coz how else do u get a job in Africa? Newspaper ads suck!! Within no time, the big man has sent a note to his colleague, asking him to repay that favour he did him when he was caught with some smuggled goods, the chit thus goes;
“Hello Comrade, good to see u are no longer in the frying pan for that little sum u took from that road repair project. Anyway, can u kindly assist the bearer of this note by fixing him somewhere in that new company in your jurisdiction, he is very well known to me, and any job will do. Thank you comrade, now u don’t owe me anything”
SEAL: OFFICE OF THE MINISTER FOR …….
DATE: 25-10-2005

Within days, Paul receives the call, he has got that interview. As a normal chap, he runs to the internet cafe, where he reads all that interview etiquette crap,
“Come early, at least 30 minutes before the appointment time, that way………”
“Carry a copy of your cv, just in case…………”
“Be smart, not too smart, not shabby, just be bloody smart godamit!!...”

Interview reaches, and this chap is ushered into the room, chaps staring at him like he had just killed someone. Going for an interview is probably more painful than the journey to the dentists, what’s with those idiot interviewers scaring chaps? Anywho, this is what transpired;
“Tell us your surname”
“My Sir name is Sir Paul Kabago”
“Fill in this please, we may be having a problem”
“Sex”
“Damn u guys, what do my activities have to do with my work?”
“Have u ever worked before?”
“Yes, with my father, he is a farmasist”
“Ah great, a pharmacist, so u have an idea of sales, inventory and banking?”
“What’s that? We just rare the goats and plant the cabbages”
“A FARMER?????”
“No, a farmasist!!”
“Can u handle responsibility?”
“Yes, even last time when the tractor got spoilt, they said I was responsible!”
“This is getting ridiculous”
“Ah, I know those guys, they are on Kenya TV!”
“Sir, what can we do with this fellow, we don’t want to annoy the big man!”
“Put him at the reception!”

Ladies and gents, u all rememba that IDIOT u met last time u went to a government building, ya, that chap that looked at u and had no idea what the hell u meant by “appointment”?, well, that’s how he got that bloody job in the first place!!