The medical check-up

Every corporate company requires at some point that all employees go for a routine medical checkup, fully paid from the corporate company’s coffers. My experience a couple of years ago while I still plied my trade with a large tax payer, was quite bizarre, why they wanted us checked I still don’t know!

So it was 9 am and my appointment was set at IHK on Jinja road! The architects of this clinic should be shot, and fed to the dogs coz they cause untold psychological suffering to we tie wearing, suit wielding citizens of the corporate world. How do u have a lobby in the middle of the loos and the exam room??!

Anywho, I walked in there, signed the usual paperwork and was sent to the doctor, a male chap, to my utter disappointment! He went thru the routine of touching my body, as if the Mariah Carey song, and even had the guts to feel my tummy, I hear “for appendicitis”. This was some rather gay shit! So he sent me to the lab, where this chick, fresh from campus, gave me cup to pee in! I had to walk all the way to the other end of the room, thru the reception, to the loo! I still cant figure out doctors, we men cant aim in a toilet bowl, and they still give us those tiny cups?! And when u start, its hard to stop, u may easily pee on yo self!

Heres the tricky part, walking back, through the reception, holding a cup of yo-wa pee! A guy who had a pint the previous night will be shaking the cup, poring drops of his own stuff along the way!

On this particular day, I met Marjorie, that ballistic new chic from Accounts, just stepping in for her check up! This chick was too hot, if she were royalty, we would refer to her as “Her Ballisticness Marjore”! Apparently when she looks in a mirror, a message appears “object in mirror is far cuter than actually seems”. This chick was too ballistic, I don’t even know why they sent her for a check, she was FINE!!

Anywho, trust God, or whoever that chap is thats responsible for embarrassing humans, Marjorie walked in, while I was headed to the lab, WITH PEE IN MY HAND!! She stretched out her palm to say hi, me always to step back, pee behind my back on my right hand, people seated behind me start smiling, having noticed the catch 22 situation I was in, and heres how; We were 2, and 20 people were watching, hence the catch 22 stuffs! Happy??

In a split of a second, I turned away from the chick, pee bottle moving on the side she couldn’t see, and straight to the lab, neva to greet the chick! So when I enter the lab, pissed as ever, I hand over the pee to the lab chick! She looked like she had just graduated, she’s like “put the pee on the sink there” with such a disgusted face, I wondered how she would examine the damn pee! Wat happened to old nurses who would just grab the bottle “give me the pee, senk u very many”, now they have to use scissors and shit to grab the cup!

Anywho, me always to walk out in disgust, signed the damn papers left over, and who do I meet? Marjorie, with a cup of pee!!!