The year is almost ending and we were just on March. Lets do a double month here shall we, April and May, here goes;
A survey done in April showed that online shopping was low in Uganda. Let’s see why. After Nigerians scammed many Ugandans with that crap of “Mo nem is Chuu Achukwu, I om a kozin to Soni Abocha, sond me yo e-mail odress and bonk occount details and we sholl share de monny equally!” After that shit, who will return to the internet for online anything?
Dream galz split! If anyone had known that this could actually still be a news item on the archives of a country’s history, they would shudder with so much shame, even Nsaba Buturo’s statements will seem like a better option to read!
April 16th, the fire-spitting, or is it saliva spitting IGG Justice Faith Mwondha, who had become a ball and chain around the neck of any chap that was in charge of even the slightest dime was re-appointed as IGG and her deputy sent packing to idle-land, also called indefinite leave. The IGG, who had refused to be vetted by those thieving buggers, also known as MP3 players, or rather MPs, had insisted she had been chosen by God (a personal and family friend) and could only be vetted by Him.
Down South in SA, the chap who washed his belongings with hot water to avoid catching the real cause of these numerous “get off the sexual networks” ads, a one J Zuma, was on his final campaign trail, and got a surprise visit from the man whose wife waited 27 years for him while in jail only to be divorced like a bad skin disease, on the 28th year, a one Nelson Madiba the Hardest!!
28th April, Nakumtt Oasis launched, but unfortunately, the corporatal beer guzzlers and party blasters were pissed to the core, when they went there and found that all investments were geared toward escalators, banks, a large shopping mall (like we don’t have many) and silly coffee shops! Where is the cinema? Where is the bar? Where is the disco?
Sunday May 2nd, rally driver Riyaz Kurji drove off the course drawn on his map and into an anthill, unfortunately, not even the airbags could save him. He died instantly.
On 8th May, Orange (those Quality-minded buggers) announced that Shaggy was coming to Uganda. Their expatriate staff were so excited they were going to see a superstar for the first time in Africa, while the locals were like twakoowa!! Insiders were overheard opining that Shaggy, who was returning to Kampala for the 23rd time (he first came with the NRM government) had a secret family in Entebbe that he was coming back to see, but disguised it as a concert!
Well, as u can clearly see, no news is boring news, 2 months of total bullshit!! When are the riots reaching?
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