Western Culture Invades Africa!!

The western culture, or can we say, the white man’s world, has caught up with us like the swine flu! Our most bored public servant, a one Nsaba Buturo, has been assuring the donors that they can keep their bu dimes if they want to, after they threatened to do so if the new bill against batty boys, aka homo chaps, is passed!

The minister of ethics, or is it for ethics, has still refused to make a statement about the state of expiring drugs at the National Medical Stores, or the many potholes that have returned to our roads just as it was in 1 BC (Before CHOGM), he has instead spent endless hours watching the Big Brother show then proclaiming “they should abolish shower hour”, oh, so he was watching too!!

This chap is wasting his time, coz the western culture caught up with us the day Shadow’s Angels became Ug’s most sought after devil worshippers (they said so). These days we do really weird shit.

The other day, I was invited for a surprise party….for a 1 year old pumpkin!! It’s possible this little bugger was still even blind, what with those Chinese eyes! (not profiling, but that’s what they look like).

This party pumpkin (names withheld, due to the sensitivity of the matter) bought Tequilla, Vodka and several cans of pints for this bash, and oh, he threw in some balloons just to legitimise the original cause.

So we were standing in the compound, eyes darting left and right, on the prawl for this guy’s wife’s young sisters that may have come for this occasion, when the pumpkin (names still withheld GODAMIT!) came out and was like, “ok guys, lets all go behind that tree, and when little Mikey comes out (shit, name not withheld, that’s the first clue about the idiot) we all jump out and scream SURPRISE!!!!

So because this chap had bought the pints, we were left no option but hide behind the tree, then we saw a little pram come out the main house, the guy putting his forefinger on his lips, signalling to us to remain still and quiet, till he reached the middle of the compound and signalled to us to jump out, well the chicks did, we disgusted chaps attempted not to embarrass ourselves and stay as macho as the way we had come in.

The kid was surprised alright, but not because it remembered it’s bday, but the noise from the bu girls was too much, shouting that stuff of “happy baffday baby, u are chooooo cute oh yech u are babay baby baby…yuk at me yuk at me...” and more crap along those lines.

Relationships these days are different, there are more divorces than wedding meetings! People no longer have fiancés but financers, where the dime ends, that’s it. Chicks of Ug (not you ballistic ones reading this stuffs) have even caught on the culture of shopping whenever they are pissed! This shit is for the movies!

Some chick said she likes this “shopping when feeling low” habit a lot, one day she saw a dress she really wanted, so she broke up with her chap, so she was driven to buy the damn dress. What happened to talking to grandma thru these issues?

Gay chaps are a minority, and like the jews, they have lots of dimes, fighting them is not advisable, however, that’s probably the only bit of western culture that shouldn’t invade Africa!!

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to the characters or scenario above is purely coincidental.