Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2009!..Over and Out!!

It’s only 31st, one day left to end this year, which means you have one more day to commit suicide, or u’ll be seeing the SAME wife next year, except Tiger Woods, and Bebe Fool, if he has another album to launch and needs a silly exuse for a song with lyrics like “♪Shit, she has gone again, mummy of my kids, please come back and cook, the saucepans are dirty as hell, and oh, the bedsheets too…..what?? miss yo love?? never mind, the chick I was sleeping with when you caught me is still giving me lots and lots of that….just come cook for the kids preeeaseee!!!♪”

The year 2009 has been one incredible year, lets just lay back and look at what makes it ballistic;

For starters, it is the ONLY year that is in between 2008 and 2010!

It’s also the ONLY year that is EXACTLY 100 years after 1909! What a marvellous wonder!

It is only in this year that it was announced that the lifetime expectancy of a Ugandan chap has increased to 51, and NSSF announced that the age to get yo dimes, IN FULL, no questions asked, is…well….55!

Oprah winfrey announced she was ending her show….a year from now (2k9), chicks cried more than when MJ died!

Big Brother ended, oh, it had also started in the same year, but the end made us forget it had started….what am I on?

The Uganda Police burnt more weed in 2K9 than ever before, Catholic priests were heard whining about where they would get more herbs to make incense that makes believers get high and throw more dimes in the offertory baskets!

Christ the King introduced baskets with slots for the money, no more picking “change”, and NO COINS, except the 100 bucks that can still fit! (How do I know, I heard some chaps talkon’ bout’ it bitch!!”)

A certain church, of a certain backdoor pastor we know (pun intended) introduced a bankcom ATM machine right at the entrance!! The technology to collect dimes is UP TO DATE, however the Bible they use remains the one for 312BC!

Disclaimer: I only do what I do best, which is why I do very little!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You should have put that disclaimer at the very top :-D

Ms.Drama said...

LOL @ATM @chach!!! that one is DEADLY...do tell where is it???

as for the Bible...nah..there are some "new" (read psycho) versions that have been "modified" to allow some persons to do certain things such as ordain wolves to lead the sheep.

which reminds me...why does the bible use the analogy of sheep to describe Christians? is it coz we are supposed to be dumb like sheep - only good for revenue (wool)

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